Back to the real world

Vacations are funny. You spend a fair amount of time trying to find the right time to take off of work than hope you can actually get those days off. Then you spend time and money on the various things to do and places to stay while you’re there. I understand why staycations can be much better because generally when you get back from vacation you need a week to recuperate and you wonder if your vacation really did you any good. It is good to get away though. To make memories with people and to see a small portion of the beautiful things and places that are in this world. I actually learned a couple of things about myself on this vacation, which is kind of odd that I’m still learning stuff about myself. How is that even possible? Maybe it’s not so much that I didn’t know these things about me but that I’m better understanding what gets me to these places and why I think/act how I do in certain situations. I also learned on vacation that manners seem to be going out the window and people just don’t use them like they use to anymore. Not that I had to go on vacation to learn that. I also found out just how difficult it apparently is for people to hear me talk but part of that is because I’m use to just being by myself in the car and I don’t particularly talk very loud when I talk to myself. Okay, I don’t talk loud at all unless I’m really excited about something or apparently when I’m really aggravated. Another thing I realized was just how often I say sorry. Sometimes I say sorry because I do feel like I did something to apologize for and sometimes I think I say it when I really mean excuse me and more often times than not I probably say both when it probably isn’t necessary. I need to figure out how to share my extra manners to some of these people that have none. Anyway, one day while on vacation, I was walking on the beach and walking toward the water while this guy was walking from the right of me. You know those moments where you’re not sure which way the other person is going to go so you all won’t crash into each other? Well it turned in to that and you get that awkward which way do I go, which way do I go type dance going. So I hurriedly walked in front of him and apologized as I did so. He kind of chuckled and said, “Don’t be sorry. That’s a silly little thing to be sorry for.” As I continued walking toward the water I thought about what he said and a few things came to mind. The first being, well I’ll be he actually heard me! Then I thought you know he has a point and it was one of those moments when I really meant excuse me more than sorry. This is why I prefer to write instead of talk because it’s easier to take the time to say what I mean better and I can hit the escape button, or erase the wrong word, until I get it correctly saying what I want to imply. I may apologize a lot or say sorry when I mean excuse me and to be honest I could really beat myself up for it but I’m not because I’d rather apologize over silly things because then that means I can probably be more able to apologize for the big silly things too. Not to say that it bothered me that the guy said that. Again to be honest I’m so socially awkward I have no idea how to even take what he said except that I have really over thought the whole thing but then again that’s what I do and boy I do it well. Back to my main point, it’s nice to get away for a few days but I think my next trips on any long weekends I have off will be spent doing short road trips that I can be home the same day or just stay over night because usually those are the best kind of trips anyway.

To save a post I’m just going to add this random thought (or two) to this one. I may not have this whole talking business down and probably never will but apparently I have the face of someone that is easy to talk to and/or I am a better listener than I sometimes think I am because even strangers will come up to me and start conversation and will just tell me all kinds of stuff. Maybe it’s a common thing that happens to everyone. It really is amazing though what you find out about people if you just listen. Some goes in the I really didn't need to know that file but there are several times that I have learned so much from this happening. I always find it odd yet amazing how people will say something right when you need to hear it. Whether it's a simple thank you to something more but it's that exact something you really needed to hear. It really blows my mind when it either comes from a stranger or even if it is from someone you know but it is about something you hadn't even talked to anyone about. This example really doesn't fall into any of the previous categories but it is funny how something like rain and curly hair can start a conversation. So I was paying for my books I purchased at Half Priced Books and the cashier asks me if my hair is naturally curly and I tell her it is. I should also mention it had been and was still currently raining pretty much the whole day. So after I told her it was naturally curly she then proceeds to tell me that it looks really good for it to be raining and her hair just wasn’t and someone had suggested she use a certain product that works great on their curls but didn’t work for hers. So that was another conversation with a stranger I can add to my it all started because of my curly hair file!

To end this post here are a few of my favorite pictures I took while on vacation. It’s nice to see the ocean and different areas but at the end of the day just give me life in the country where I look out and see trees and hear the frogs, bugs and birds.

Hurry up and slow down

I feel like I'm surrounded by people that are living that song by Alabama that says, I'm in a hurry and don't know why. I rush and rush until life is no fun. Somehow I got in the lane with them and now I'm surrounded by people holding up all of the lanes with this mentality and I can't get back over to the slow lane. You know what I think would be fun if people would hurry up and slow down. Why is everyone in such a hurry? Whatever you're going to do will still be there when you get there and if it isn't well it just might be that there is a better day for you to do whatever you were intending to do. Seriously, is it so important one of these in a hurry people be in front of everyone at whatever cost including putting their and others lives in danger. I love driving and going places, love it but anymore I hate it. Every time I go somewhere I'll have people pushing me down the road, everyone has got to be in front and I just don't get it.  I can understand losing patience when someone is going 10-20mph below the speed limit because that one tests my patience and I realize that everyone at one point or another has something that they are in a hurry to do and will lose their patience. I just don't get why everyone needs to be in front or go just a little bit faster than you are. I guess you could look at life as one big to do list. It seems like people used to have two separate lists, one for jobs and all the responsibilities that entails (paying bills, boring grown up stuff) and the other for living (doing stuff with family and friends, etc.) Somewhere along the line those two lists got merged and now it's like people are in such a hurry and driven to do the grown up stuff list and to often it's not even because they have to it's just so they can say they have more than someone else. I know people that have to work like a dog to get by but yet they still find time to do stuff on that living list because they make it a priority and let's face it everyone needs a break every now and then or you are going to be one miserable, irritable person to be around. Obviously one has to be responsible and do what they have to do to pay the bills and such but the way I see it when I get off the final stop on this ride called life I want to be able to say yes I did hold up my end of being a responsible person and worked hard but I think what's going to be more important and mean more is being able to say yes I did stop and smell the roses, literally and figuratively, that I did take the time to do stuff with the ones I care about and even that I was kind to that stranger and who knows by doing those little things it might have made a huge impact on the other person and even if worse case scenario it didn't you still made memories and those are priceless. I guess I sound like a 90 year old woman that's sitting in a nursing home talking about days gone by. I always have felt like an old soul.. Don't get me started on the manners of people nowadays! (if that was said it would be said in my best old lady voice) Either way I just want to do my best at hurrying up and slowing down. Life goes by way to fast as it is I don't need to rush it along and end up one day looking back saying wow, I wish I would've taken the time to tell so and so this and done something with them while I had the chance.  Maybe a more accurate song to say I feel like I'm living is Grandpa (Tell Me 'Bout The Good Ol' Days) by The Judds

Magenta

I've been in a blah kind of mood for way to many days now, or magenta as Blanche described it in an episode of The Golden Girls. I hate those kinds of moods because...well it just isn't a fun mood. I never really know what to do with myself at those times. I have an even more difficult time than normal being content or finding something to do that I can stay focused on. It's almost like all those little mini-mes in my head got bored so they thought it'd be funny and go through all of the little file cabinets in my brain and rearrange my thoughts, misplacing them and jumbling them all up. When that got boring they thought let's just throw all of the papers up and see where they land so I'm stuck trying to get a proper thought together and get everything back in its place. For some reason the thought of mini-mes running around in my head doing that kind of amuses me. One day last week I had someone ask what was up but I couldn't get around to actually talking. If I had just one more minute I might would have but alas during the time of trying to figure out how to say what I wanted to say and if I even should the decision was made for me because others came up talking to that person. It's the curse of being quiet/shy/introverted/backwards/all of the above or whatever you want to call it I suppose. So anyway I really needed to just try to find somewhere where I could be myself and attempt to write. I have this place I go walking sometimes and the trail goes around farm land and it's a fairly quiet place that has benches placed every so far apart. That is where I found myself the other day in trying to write. I got to write a little bit but what really helped was just being there surrounded by the scenery and just taking that in. The great thing about blah moods are that they do eventually pass and it makes me greatly appreciate that song, book, scenery, some random thing that makes you finally have a hearty laugh, or maybe even a persons hug that helps bring you out of that magenta zone.

Front Porch Sitting

I don't do many things well but when it comes to random thoughts and over thinking, those I am fantastic at. This is especially true and easily proved when I am driving. As a matter of fact most of my posts on here came to be due to a random or over thought about, well a  thought, while I was driving to some destination. This post is no exception. As I was driving I passed a house that is in the process of being built and I noticed the front porch is pretty much going to be non existent. That minor observation brought the following thought. I've noticed on a lot of new houses and even ones that have been built for a number of years just don't have much of a front, or back, porch. By not much I mean just room for you to stand there while knocking on the door, no room for a chair or room to just sit. This is going to sound weird but I find that sad, it's okay you can go ahead and call me crazy. I really do find it sad though because you just don't see people sitting outside on the porch together or some such thing like you used to. To me nothing is more inviting and just relaxing as sitting on a porch with a couple of chairs, bonus if they are rocking chairs, and maybe a little table to sit your cup of coffee or tea on. Or if it is a porch that has steps going up to it I'm just as comfortable sitting on the steps. I could spend hours in this kind of sitting with whatever book I'm currently reading, my journal, or catching up with family or friends. Okay the introvert in me could spend longer with the book and journal than with people but still nothing beats hearing stories of days gone by while sitting on a porch. Some of my favorite memories are of summer evenings sitting on the front porch at my grandma's or the early mornings she'd go outside to sit on the porch and drink her coffee. If I ever get my dream home (plain old log cabin) I'm going to make sure it has a big ol' porch. I just really do find it that important and relaxing to sit outside and get away from the distractions of life, that laundry that just will not hang itself up in the closet, the sounds of the television, the frustrations of work, etc. Sometimes, quite a lot actually, I find I just need to get away and sitting outside seeing the simple beauty of nature and listening to those sounds getting lost and finally being able to sort my thoughts, read a book, or just truly take in the beautiful surrounding and sometimes something as simple as sitting on the front porch helps me. Maybe I really am an old soul stuck in a thirty year old shell. So that was one of my random thoughts that carried me through a decent part of my journey. I also had a random thought about lightning bugs (or fireflies as some call them). I saw a bunch of them in a field and got to thinking first, that's a lot of lightning bugs and then I began to wonder if there was a name of a group of them. When I got home curiosity got the best of me so I did a search. I did find one website (www.funtrivia.com) that stated a group of lightning bugs is called sprinkle. I don't know if it's true but I rather like it anyway so I'm going to call them that whether it's true or not. That about does it for this edition of Random Thoughts of the Rambling Quiet Girl. Until next time, which probably won't be long because I already have another thought a brewing and waiting to be written and rambled on and on about but that one may not get any further than my journal or even just stuck in that never ending road of thoughts I got in my head.