Friday, it's so good to see you again

I don't know how many things I'm going to have to go through before it truly sinks in that all things happen for a reason. By now I really should have figured this out. Working from home I don't get to see or talk to my co-workers as often as when I had to go in to work. I occasionally get to email them or catch up via Facebook but it's just not the same. So when my internet went down and didn't come back up until this morning I should have focused on the thought of getting to see my friends again but I didn't I lost my patience and was so frustrated just about the internet being down and I would be really late clocking in now. If there is a good thing with that it is that it doesn't last long with me before I'm either truly over it or I am able to internalize it until a later date. Before I even got to work I was in a much better mood, listening to music really loud on the way also really helped. What helped the most though was walking in to my old office and seeing my friends. It really is what I needed right now. It was great getting to catch up and laugh like the days before four walls and Facebook became my co-workers to get me through the day. Don't get me wrong working from home has it's advantages, like getting to type this blog now, but I miss getting to be around my friends at work. I try to go in and see them every so often but it had been a really long time because every thing kept coming up so I couldn't make it. That is until this week when my internet went down. It was one of those blessings in disguise moments for sure. Talk about how things work out, there was a lady that works in the cafeteria that I hoped I would get to see, and I go in the cafeteria for lunch looking for food and hoping to see her as well. I didn't see her at first then she suddenly came out of a door and she saw me and came over. She talked a minute and gave me a hug, you know I'm not a hugger but I tell you I really needed that hug. Maybe next time something goes wrong I'll remember that there is some reason this is happening and it just might be because I need to be on a different road that day, one that takes me to see some friends that will make it a much better day. Now I'm off to take this trip called life one day at a time and continue to work on my patience and becoming the person that apparently most people think I am. If only I was half the person they seem to think I am, or maybe I am and I just don't see it. Either way, I'll end with this: even when the road is curvy, and bumpy and you're not sure you'll make it to you're destination remember there is always a blessing to be found and that pesky cliche is true, things happen for a reason.

Paper to sign before riding anywhere with me....

This will be a repeat for anyone that is friends with me on Facebook but it was to good not to put on here. Today my uncle told me that sometimes my driving scared him and I then told him, 'That's all right, we're even because sometimes you're driving scares me.' Then I thought it would be hilarious to make up a paper and have people sign it because I jokingly said that it's a wonder I haven't gotten sued for emotional distress. Normally that's as far as that would go but I figured why not, it's not like that many people ride with me anyway. So this is what I made up and for once I'm actually hoping someone will ask me to take them somewhere. If you can't laugh...then you need to up the dose on your happy pills :)


Thank you for choosing to ride with April Donahue, before we begin our journey you should be fully aware of any and all potential hazards you may encounter. I, April Donahue, have the attention span of---oh look, squirrel….I may unintentionally scare you with some kind of maneuver you deem as dangerous and hazardous but seemed perfectly legit to me at the time. You may at any time tell me to pull over so you can get out of the car, take over driving or if you feel it necessary you can hit me and attempt to knock some driving sense in to me, although this method has not been proved to work. Also you may find it appropriate to call out in prayer for help multiple times during any trip. With this being said, I assure you I will take all precautions and do my absolute best to follow all driving laws that are enforced wherever our journey will take us.

Again thank you for choosing to ride along with April Donahue and I truly hope I don’t scare you that much.

Please check this box if you would like to take a few minutes before our journey begins to say a prayer to help ensure  a safe trip.

                                                                                                                                                                 
 Please sign and date on line to show you have read and understand the above statement. By signing this you are saying you know what kind of mess you are getting yourself in to and you will not sue the above named person(s) for any emotional distress that may come about from riding with them

Jo Dee Messina Concert

I know I said I was going to try to take a break from posting but I had to write about this. Friday night I got to have another dream come true and see Jo Dee Messina in concert. I had seen her when I was in high school and she was the opening act for The Judds concert at Rupp Arena and ever since then have hoped and prayed I could see her again and even one day get to meet her. Honestly never thought it would happen, at least meeting her, but thank God it did. She puts on an amazing show and if you ever get the chance I highly recommend going and seeing her, you get your money's worth. The woman has a tremendously under rated talent and she sang some songs that are going to be on her new record and they are AMAZING!!! Her new single, I believe it is called The Woman's Rant, or something like that is a great, catchy song that every woman can relate to married, single, kids, or no kids. It's coming out some time next month, listen out for it and request it like your life depends on it because it's time country radio starts playing more of the singers with real talent instead of the same two songs. Jo Dee was nice enough to come back for an encore and sang a song called "Me' she has posted on her Facebook page how hard it is for her to sing this song especially the part about being a daughter. The song is very moving and powerful talking about who all she is to different people: wife, mom, daughter, etc. It's a real anthem for what women are to so many people. I was fortunate enough to get a CD cover signed by her, thanks to my cousin getting it to her so she could sign it. Then we waited afterwards in the rain (yes I am so that dedicated of a fan) hoping to get a chance to get a picture taken with her. Our persistence paid off and she was nice enough to come over and talk to us and take a picture with us. I would also like to point out that this quiet girl started a conversation with the stranger sitting next to me and talked where they could hear me. I was proud of myself for doing that. Can't end this without mentioning meeting two very nice and absolutely hilarious women from Indy. They was cracking me up and made standing in the rain more entertaining. I am so very thankful I got to meet Jo Dee Messina and can't wait to hear new music from her, I encourage you all to check it out, you won't ever be disappointed with her music.

Pete and Repeat

Sometimes life feels like the Pete and Repeat story/joke/whatever that growing up was so fun to tell people. For old times sake all together now ' Pete and Repeat was sitting on a log (or whatever you wish). Pete fell off, who is left?' Then would come the excited anticipation of the other person to say Repeat and you could start all over again. That will be one of those things that I can tell when I get in the nursing home and will have people shaking their head thinking poor woman is delirious again. Now to the point of bring that up in the first place, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck, not only in my comfort zone but in a monotonous cycle. Get up, go to work, go home, (the only part that could change) read/write/watch TV, try to sleep, finally sleep to wake up fighting with the alarm clock and start the cycle all over again. I don't want to live my life like that only to get old and look back and think that's how I took advantage of the life I've been given. If nothing else but sitting outside enjoying the weather more (when the weather decides to stay warm) or I want to find new places to go and take pictures. It's not only what I do but how I think that seems to be keeping me in this cycle. There is a song called Words by Hawk Nelson that I heard recently and it reminded me that I need to be more aware of what I say, to others as well as what I think to and about myself. I don't ever want to purposefully (or even unintentionally) say something to hurt someone's feelings, or hinder them in anyway. I know how it is for someone to tell you something that hurts your feelings and/or degrades you and how easily it is for those statements to stick with you longer and be the loudest ones on repeat in your mind. I hope either I will see when I'm saying what I shouldn't and I can fix it before it's to late or someone will point it out. I don't mind being told I'm in the wrong, or I need to change something about myself, I do however very much dislike it when people gleefully point it out, like they was just waiting for you to mess up to call you out and laugh at you while putting on the front they are helping you. Ain't nobody got time for dat! Lastly, I am fairly certain I am on a Pete and Repeat cycle with this blog and probably have repeated myself so many times. Hopefully not but if so maybe eventually I'll repeat myself enough to help and get me where I need to be or get whatever it is completely out of my mind. This could be awhile though. I finally started getting all of my writings organized and written in one notebook and while finding those I found other things I'd written. Isn't it funny to find things you've written in the past and see where you was and where you've come from after the situation had passed. Actually it doesn't even have to be about something you are going through because I found my first poem I wrote and then re-reading the most recent ones I realized I was doing better at writing them....not to sound conceited and say my writings are all that cause that most definitely is not the case. Anyway, final thoughts for this post is I am making a promise to myself to be more watchful of the words I say and going to find some things to change up my schedule/life to make sure I don't get stuck in a Pete and Repeat cycle. Now to try and take a break from writing so many posts.

Emotional Roller coaster...

That is the simplest way I can describe how I've been. Yesterday I hit a big wall and crashed with my emotions. I hate Mother's Day - to a certain degree I have all my life - but the past 11 years I have utterly despised the day. It makes me miss and think more of my grandma who helped raise me and who I looked at as my mom as well as grandma. This was bad enough just knowing it was the day it was but genius me decided to get on social media and every post on Facebook was about Mother's Day. Needless to say my emotions were a mess and I was doing my best to not let them get the best of me. Epic fail on that. Usually I can hold it in until I'm by myself and have a good ol' cry but not yesterday. I had made it to the restroom to cry before I was seen once but apparently didn't get enough out so when I was talking to a friend it hit me again and I couldn't keep from crying and couldn't get away in time before they saw I was crying. I hate losing it like that in front of people, not because I'm ashamed of having emotions and crying, but I just become this snot running blubbering mess that can't make a coherent sentence if my life depended on it. So with that being said yesterday was absolutely terrible but on a positive note I realize I do have some true and great friends. When I tried to leave a couple friends wouldn't let me, can't blame them I'm bad enough of a driver when I can see just fine, throw in some tears that could be scary! I'm not going to lie though at first while I'm trying to stop crying and hide the fact that I am crying it frustrated me that they wouldn't just let me go on but I know they did it cause they cared. Anyway, short story made way to long already, I'm glad that I have friends that  will let me cry, talk, and laugh with them any time. I only hope I am there for them as much as they are there for me. These friends truly prove that you don't have to know people all of your life to be the best of friends. Last but not least I guess one just can't escape the bumpy emotional roller coaster but I like it better the the ride isn't very long and I can have a long time in between those rides.

Just Another Post

It never ceases to amaze me that I can hear a song from growing up, and that I haven't heard in quite some time, yet I can remember all  of the lyrics as soon as I hear that first chord. My amazement doesn't end there because I don't understand how I can do that yet forget what I was going to do in the short distance of a few steps from one room to another. I also realize I write a lot about music, I can't help it, it's on my very short list of things I can talk/write a lot about. I think it's partly because songs are like books they can take you to so many places even if the song only lasts 3-5 minutes long the feeling the song gives you can last a long time after that, in some cases I dare say a lifetime. I also think that like those old songs I listen to and remember the lyrics to that it also brings back some great memories. If it's from an artist I've seen in concert I may remember that, or if it played a part in something that happened in my life the memory flood gates might over flow. Plus when I'm in my car or by myself you better believe I sing my little tone deaf heart out like I'm in an arena singing for thousands of fans. Thankfully my car has tinted windows so it saves people a little bit of terror from having to see me and usually the routes I drive I avoid having to be stuck beside anyone very long by a red light and I try to show them mercy by stopping singing while anyone can hear me. It cracks me up when people tell me I'm quiet because I sometimes think, 'Shew, good my car hasn't been bugged!' (Totally a sarcastic joke I really ain't that paranoid). However, I do want to tell them you haven't been in a car with me for a long ride, I talk a lot at that times, usually no one else is around though! That's another thing, how people perceive you and the adjectives they use to describe you. People have called me quiet, I like to think of it as taking the scenic route from my mind to mouth to get the words out, or listener if you want the short boring answer! Same thing as when I've been called weird, that's just a jealous way of reminding me I'm unique :) On that note I think that's about all I got for this time.

Thankful....

I know in life you can't constantly look back or you'll never move forward but sometimes I like to look back and see how far I've made it. On occasion I realize I haven't moved much at all or have even moved backwards. As I get older I'm learning to not get to aggravated when this happens because be it my own fault or some yet unknown explanation there is a reason I am where I am. Society tries to label me because I'm not married, don't have any kids and therefore must be miserable but I have to say I am just now beginning to get a grasp and true appreciation at this thing we call life. When I graduated high school and someone told me in 10 or so years some of the things I would get to do and the job I would have, I'm not going to lie I would have laughed in their faces. I've never actually written down a 'bucket list' but I have always had a mental list of places I'd love to go see and things I'd like to accomplish and to my amazement I have been able to do way more than I ever thought possible. Sometimes I put things on my mental list just to challenge myself to see if I will go for it or not. I guess this past birthday made me realize that time is going by super fast and I don't want another 10 years pass by so fast and look back only to realize I didn't take time to live in the now and to enjoy it. There is a song by Alabama (not sure of the title of the song at the moment) but it says 'I'm in a hurry to get things done, Oh, I rush and rush until life's no fun' and I know there isn't any getting out of feeling like that at times but I am truly striving to not stay in that kind of mind set anymore. I guess this post is just a long drawn out way of saying today I am just thankful that I over came all the obstacles that was set before me and continue to prepare for any that may come down the road. My constant prayer is that I become the person I'm meant to be even if it is outside of my comfort zone. As I've heard said many times and I think is true for myself I may not be where I should be but thank God I'm not the person I used to be. Some days you just got to count your blessings and push every thing else under the rug to deal with another day.

Fashion Police

As my vacation comes to a close I find I  have nothing exciting to write about this week except that I enjoyed not having to think about work. However, as my mind tends to wonder and I get countless thoughts going at one time and rarely complete one thought, I figured I'd write this particular post about something else. I actually thought of this while trying to sleep, it truly is amazing the thoughts that I think while trying to sleep, and so I decided to write it down so I would remember it. Here it is:

There is nothing like warmer weather to make a part of me wish there really was such a thing as fashion police. Granted, I know I would get ticketed all the time for some kind of violation (probably for being to slouchy) but some people surely realize how some of these clothes look on them. Wear what you want to but for crying out loud at least make sure it's the right size or at least not to small. At least if you're like me and you tend to buy it to big (because I just loathe trying on clothes) you can wear a belt or something. You can't hide or fix to small. There are certain types of clothes that just aren't intended for certain body types - not hating or being mean that's just common sense seems to me like. It's like those pictures you see of the people at Wal-Mart but somehow in the spring/summer they can be seen every where. To each his own but there are some parts of people I really don't ever need or want to see. This always includes some guy (usually old and not in the best of shape) that seems to think it's necessary to go shirtless outside in public. You just can't unsee these kinds of things. Not going to lie though it's just as dangerous to see the shirtless guys that are young (my age young) and in a shape that you at least understand why they are going shirtless. I always have to remind myself to focus on driving instead of the cute guy. Then there are the times I'm walking in a store and I see a woman that has a to-die-for bag or flip flops, etc that I wonder where she found that at because I just don't have that luck or patience when it comes to shopping. With all that being said I guess I'm glad there isn't any fashion police because that could cut in to my summer entertainment and I of course would hate to be the first to be jailed for to many violations!