I Just Wanted to Write...so I did :)

As the title suggests there really is no rhyme or reason for this post (is there ever though?!) other then the fact that I just wanted to write. Funny isn't it how just typing a few letters together to combine a word then another until you have some random sentence can help calm your thoughts or just get rid of a few thoughts floating around. This past weekend found me getting to drive around and get to take a few pictures, something else that really calms me and is just something that I truly enjoy getting to do. I'm not sure how weird this is or if I'm the only one to do it but quite often when I'm driving around in places I've never been I tend to imagine what it would be like to live there. Sometimes I even see a house I like and wonder what it would be like to live there and the important things like wonder where they go to the store at (that one always cracks me up but I'm all about food so there you go and some of those places are way out in the country) and wonder where you could go to church at. I'm just trying to live up to the times I get called weird! And I love finding these abandoned buildings, the old churches and schoolhouses being my favorite find. Although it is a bit sad to see them abandoned my imagination has a field day when I stumble across them. I imagine what they looked like in their prime and make up stories and envision people being there. Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly trying to figure out where I belong and not only just where I want to live, although I wish I could hurry up and figure that one out too. I'm restless, which usually means I'm about to have a breakdown or a breakthrough or both (can you have both? I think so). It reminds me of, this dream I had a couple or so weeks ago. Granted I don't know if it meant anything or was just another one of my very vivid dreams, I'll go with just a dream. Dreams are weird aren't they? I tend to have themes that show up quite often in my dreams, mainly water and bridges but I digress. Oh the dream that I had...so it started with me and another person in a paintball competition with two other people in this quite difficult maze. At one point the only way I could keep going and make it through was to have the person on my team help me so I said as much to the person as we talked through the plan to get out of it. I don't know if we ever made it or not but skip to another part of the dream and I'm climbing on this tall hill, I suppose you could say it was a mountain, but either way I was at the top or close to the top and looking down in the valley. Again there was someone else there and again I couldn't really see their face but both times I was comfortable around the person and knew I could trust them and they were there to help me. So at the hill there was a place where the person said I needed to go through to get to wherever I needed to be. The only thing was this place was grown up with briars, tall thick weeds and such. The person said I could just stomp them down and make a path. I looked at the overgrown mess and back at the person and back at the weeds. I'm scared I want to go through but all I can think is I can't, that's going to hurt, I'm going to trip and fall. Somethings don't change even in my dreams. And I looked at the person and said, "I can't." yet I so very much wanted to..again somethings I am the same even in my dreams. Anyway I don't know if I did go through or not because I woke up. I'm sure it was a dream but if I'm honest I do feel like I'm at that stage presently. Do I walk through the weeds and briars and risk the getting hurt and tripping or am I going to stand there looking at it forever stuck in my uncomfortable comfort zone? Can I tell you what I hope I do? I hope that I walk through and try to make a path no matter how many times I get cut by the briars or how many times I trip and fall because let's be honest I trip on air so I may as well trip while trying to get somewhere that may be where I'm supposed to be.