I Wish I Had A Good Title For This

As I am writing this I am sitting in church, no there is no service going on at the moment, just me sitting here. I live an hour-ish (an hour or less if I break speed limits, a bit more if I drive right) from where I go to church so sometimes I just hang out at the church between services on Sunday. I'm weird I know God knows I've gotten all kinds of looks because of how far I drive to church and because I sit in an empty church between services. I don't get why. There is something peaceful about sitting in a church. I love sitting in the little church at Dollywood and going in the little churches through Cades Cove in Tennessee. It may just be a building but there is just something about it that calms me and gives me a bit of peace. And in those churches they just have the simple wooden pews, no cushions, no air conditioning but I never really notice. Don't get me wrong I am all about the cushioned pew or chair and A.C. but there is something so simple yet powerful getting to take a step back in time and sit in little country churches of old (or replicas as is the case at the church in Dollywood). Moving on...have you ever seen someone and you can just tell, even feel, that they are not okay, that they have something on their mind. I do that sometimes and other times i'm completely blind to it. I'm not sure which is worse cause when I see the person and/or feel that hurt I don't know what i'm supposed to do, if I should even do anything. I ask how they are but that question causes people to lie more than any other question around, I am convinced of that. And back to the hugging thing I saw someone and thought I should give them a hug...I didn't, couldn't make myself but at least someone did give them a hug. Maybe that was the answer and I ignored or fought with it to long and I missed the chance to help in a very small way. Maybe I think I have to have the right words and don't say anything because I just know I'll stumble over my words, repeat things and it just not make any sense but maybe i'm wrong. I don't always have to say anything and when I do does it matter if I stumble over my words or it takes me a bit longer to get a simple i'm here if you need to talk said. Sometimes I think I am a rather selfish person, more concerned about things I shouldn't be instead of just being...being present, being there for others, being there for myself. Because really in allof the times people have been there for me when I said I was okay but really wasn't I don't remember if they stumbled over their words I remember that they cared enough to say and/or show they were there for me by simply saying they were there if I ever needed to talk or just giving me a hug and the looks! I say the looks part mostly joking but I'm fairly certain I have gotten a look from those i'm closest to or been around. You know the look, the you want to try that again cause you and I both know that's a lie. Maybe that's why I don't do well with the whole eye contact while talking I ain't looking at you I can't see the looks you're given me. That and if you can't see my eyes you can't as easily see any hurt or anything else I try to hide. You know it's funny we seem to think we have to do such elaborate things to show people we care but oh how much a simple you doing okay, did you make it home safely, be careful, can prove just how much you mean to someone. I don't have a good quote or video to end this with so I'll just say I hope you are doing okay, have a good week and be safe whatever you do.