For Such A Time As This - One Year Later

A year ago today, according to my memories on Facebook, I wrote a post titled For Such A Time As This. I actually opened it and as I was reading it I thought 1) oh Lord, maybe I shouldn't write a blog 2) wow, what a difference a year makes and 3) thank God I am truly moving forward and I can actually tell that finally. In the end of last years post I wrote in part, 'See I don't know or truly understand what season I am at right now but I know that I am here and I am who I am right now for such a time as this.' I often say one shouldn't live in the past but that post was a reminder of how sometimes a glance back to see how far you have made it is that encouragement you needed cause sometimes it just feels like you aren't moving forward (sometimes you really ain't but more on that later) and isn't it sometimes just completely amazing to see how you have made it, thank God. So where I was at last year was on my way moving forward but not really. See I was going through the motions, had gotten rid of just enough hurts and such that I thought I was okay, that's all I thought was really possible or all I deserved to have because it seemed I should carry these hurts, rejections and burdens, it's all I would allow to happen in part cause I didn't know how or what to do to get rid of these things and I didn't want anyone to know all this that I was feeling or going through, safer to go through the motions. But what I didn't know or understand that all these years have been making me and leading me to such a time as this. I hear people say if they could live life over again they'd do this or that different. I don't know if I would, sure it'd be great to live many less years dealing with things I've dealt with but everything led me to meet the people and go places to get me where I am now, for such a time as this. For so long I wanted to escape these feelings and I tried but it only masked how I was feeling it never gave me the freedom I so wanted from these chains and such. I was so tired of just going through the motions and it was killing me but thank God He heard my cries and has helped me so much  since I wrote that post last year. We all have seasons, trials and such and it's not fun but at least it can be used so you can help others as I read in a quote we're not here to see through people but to help see people through. I'm still not sure what my such a time as this involves but I finally have a better understanding of what my role and place is and am so glad and thankful God allowed me to meet and have the people that are in my life and have played a role in helping me move forward or just being there, that means more to me than I can ever pay you all back but i'm forever grateful. Most of all I am so glad and thankful for the freedom and chains that have truly been broken, I'm no longer walking through the motions but in a peace and freedom I haven't ever known. So in this time I will continue to grow and move forward to whatever such a time as this has in store for me.