You know the drill random thoughts and your guess is as good as mine as where this ride will end up...
On my memories that popped up for this day on Facebook one was from a year ago and I had been reading In Such Good Company by Carol Burnett (still recommend that book if you haven't read it yet) and I had wrote about the people in the studio not wanting her to hire Vicki Lawrence as a regular and how they said she was to rough around the edges. I still love Carol's response which was, so is a diamond at first. Thankfully Carol stood her ground and knew what Vicki had to offer. Carol Burnett is one of my favorite people who happen to be a celebrity, somehow I feel a connection to her that happened the moment I found out her grandma raised her and was a mom to her plus I just love her sense of humor and she is definitely one celebrity I would love to meet. I did get a letter from her, forever grateful she took the time back to respond to a letter I sent to her. Anyway, I loved her response because whether it's a shot at being a regular on what in my opinion is still the best variety show ever created or just building the confidence to do another dream you may have or even just to build confidence in you - we all at some point I think need or can use someone to remind us and to drown out the lies or just to give us a shot. Sometimes just to know that there are people that care and will be there for you.
So onto another thought, I saw a post the other day from Lisa Harper and it was a video of her daughter (who she adopted from Haiti) and in it her daughter said that if Lisa did good when she got her shots that she just may get her an ice cream and a pony! On the post Lisa used the hashtag apple didn't fall far from the tree and it made me smile for a few reasons. One her daughter is just precious she has such a joyful, happy spirit that you can tell she is just going to go places and be used mightily. Two you can tell the love that is there between mother and daughter. A lot of times when she posts stuff she'll to some degree mention how awesome it is how God worked it out and He picked the perfect daughter for her. You ever see those women that you just know they are meant to be a mom. And to see women like that get to be a mom just makes my heart happy. I love their story too because it gives me hope that maybe one day I will get to adopt and meet the son or daughter that God picks out for me or as I think is more accurate I will just get to meet more kids that I get to be an 'aunt' to. But I love their story too because it reminds me of how God has worked out my story - my story in how I get to have a mom. It's kind of cool isn't to take a glance back at your story and see how things have and/or are working out. To be honest with you I am at a major page turner part of my story and I love my story. I embrace everything about my story cause it made me who I am and it let me meet and now I have some awesome people in my life. I'm still not the best at telling it and I don't always like to tell it but maybe I need to tell more. Disclaimer - anything I write is not to make anyone look bad or to put them down in anyway. I have no ill feelings toward anyone, no grudges, nothing of the like. Growing up I used to wonder if I would ever know what it was to have a mother/daughter relationship and to be honest I didn't think I would cause in part I thought that was part of God punishing me and just proving that He hated me (on a previous post I had written about that in a bit more detail). As I've grown up and over the years I realized that wasn't true but I do think God worked it all out and was actually looking out for me. See when I look back in previous chapters I won't name them but I can tell you that there has been three women that has been a big influence on me and all three in one way or another has or is like a mom to me. First my grandma cause she helped raise me and was the closest thing I had to know what a mom may be, she was sickly all my life so didn't really get to do stuff with her or anything but she gave the best hugs and she was there for me. Then there is the pastor's wife at my church (which I suppose gives it away if you personally know me and read this) who is like a mom and she's helped me tremendously over the years and then a person that God allowed me to meet a couple years ago who is also very much like my mom and I even call her mom and she has helped me a lot too. These three women in their own ways have and are a huge influence in my life. It kind of amazes me really when I look back on my story and the thing that probably has plagued me the most and has been a chain is what happened growing up and that not having a mom or the mom influence that you think of. Now I look back and I see where I currently am in my story and I have a major thanks God moment and I see why what happened did happen and now I wouldn't change any of it for nothing. If I had wrote the story how I thought it was supposed to be written I would have never met those two very important women that are in my life now. Sometimes I think I am selfish and sometimes I worry that I am a bother to them and stuff but recently I had a thought that could be very wrong or possibly very right. As I have said I don't think you meet anyone by accident or for no reason. Each of these women in their own ways have and are filling in the gap and are letting me know and have a mother's love which I am forever in debt to them for and am forever grateful. Not to mention they just mean so very much to me for just being who they are and I'll never be able to repay them for all that they have done for me. I often say they got the bad end of the deal but I recently had a thought that I may be very wrong and maybe shouldn't say that because maybe I am feeling in some kind of gap that they may have had - at the very least I get to annoy them! But I love Lisa Harper's story with her daughter and so many because I think it proves how awesome God is that in my wee little human brain I am in some way taught to think that it's supposed to happen this way and if it doesn't it never will but stories like mine and Lisa Harper's helps me realize that that isn't true and that it may take awhile ( I was in my twenties when I met one of those women and days away from turning 31 when I met the other one) but things do work out and I think it's a way cooler story and page turner when it happens like this. I love those stories that just when you think they are over and this is going to be a crappy ending something happens and you have the you have got to be kidding me I did not see this happening. It's way better than I could have ever imagined. So in my story I have no idea if I will ever have a kid (biological or adopted), I have no idea how it will play out with certain people in my life but I love my story.
I was recently reading a blog and it was about what to do when we think God is late and it mentioned Sarah and how she laughed and thought there was no way she was going to have a child so she tried to help God and messed up. And how often do we do that, think God didn't hear us or what we may hear or be told is going to happen well we laugh and think there is no way. So we either forget about it or we try to help God out. With Sarah and Abraham they had to wait 25 years for that promise to be fulfilled. That's a lifetime! But I bet if we could talk to Sarah she would say now looking back she saw how it was all worth it and she had a better understanding of how and why it all worked out the way it did. I loved in part of that blog the person wrote how God knows exactly who we are supposed to meet and who is supposed to be in our story and when they are supposed to be in their story. How often do you hear I wish I could have met you sooner? But maybe for various reasons had we met people sooner we wouldn't have had the opportunity to get to know them like we did when we first met them and then we would have missed the chance for them to have the place that they hold in our lives now. If that makes sense. Like I know if I had met some friends that I have sooner we wouldn't have become friends and that would have been terrible. So I'm glad I'm not writing that part of my story either or I would mess it up.
I had another thought but I think this post is done. I don't know your story or where you are in your story but even if it looks a little rough around the edges just remember so does a diamond at first. And no matter how much you may think your story isn't going to end well or make a difference please know that your story is very important and matters and the very next page may just have that dream that you have been waiting so long for. Shall we all keep going to see where our stories lead and may they have the most epic stories and best ending ever!
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