I had tried yesterday to write a post about a thought I had while waking up at 1:00 a.m and waiting until sleep decided to visit again. The thought was wondering where the statement the truth hurts came from/about because as much truth as there may be in that statement I'd rather hear the truth than to be clothed with a seemingly beautiful garment that is made up of nothing but lies. That garment of truth might not look so pretty at first but in the end it will be more beautiful or better at the very least than the mountain of lies. Granted there are ways and times and such to think about when telling the truth but as much as I may not like the truth when I hear it in the end I'll appreciate it or at the very least know I can trust you which means a lot to me. As you can see that would have been a waste of a topic to write about so shall we go on to the next thing...
That would be dreams - like the ones you have while sleeping because I never have a shortage of strange dreams. I know most all of them are nothing although I've had a few that I'm not entirely convinced that there was a much bigger meaning to them. The regular dreams tend to have me thinking I know it was just a dream but...well I'm getting a bit ahead of myself perhaps. An example of what I'm trying to say/write was a dream I had last night that in part found me in some building that was going to have some event held in it but also looked like it was a flea market. There was an area that had boxes that were decorated for what I don't know but someone had the idea we were supposed to see what the boxes were made up of or something but as I was walking to the boxes they started looking menacing and like something was in the boxes that was going to hurt me. So the fear took over and I went back and just told the person to tell me what the boxes were made of or something. Somewhere after that my great aunt that passed away back in '08 was there and she said something along the lines that we needed to get together more often at least once a year. See told you I have weird dreams. Now that's all that was I'm sure of but it got me thinking because I've noticed that I somehow have let fear back in my life and anxieties and such have hindered me in ways that I was at one point making great progress at. And I suppose if I could take a lesson from that dream was that the fear made those boxes look, well scary and like I was going to get harmed if I went any closer to them but when I found out what was inside the boxes and was they were made of (they were decorated in different ways) I realized there was nothing about the boxes that could hurt me but no joke the fear and such that I felt was real. I guess my lesson was just like I did in the dream all to often in my real life I focus to much and to long on the fear until like in the dream a box somehow seems incredibly dangerous and sends me running. It was like in my dream there was a small voice trying to tell me there was nothing to fear but the volume on the anxieties got turned up so loud that I could no longer hear the small voice telling me it was okay and sometimes that happens in real life too. So my thinking is that no matter how quiet that small voice is that is telling me it's okay if I can just get back to focusing on that then hopefully and ideally the loud annoying voice that is fear/anxiety will quiet down and I'll see the big scary box for what it truly is. I just really overthought that dream and don't take that as downplaying illnesses such as anxiety.
I guess I'll end this with a beautiful version of Amazing Grace sung by Joey and Rory - no real rhyme or reason for posting it. I just like it.
