Who I Am...

Sometimes whole driving, working or like now when I'm trying to go to sleep I somehow think of the most random questions, thoughts and such. One of those was recently while working I thought who am I? Not as in I really didn't know but what kind of question that is and what would my answer be. Then I thought I've already written something similar to that and went digging to see if I could find it. I didn't but I did discover a bit more of who I am. You see normally when people ask that you say your name a few kin folks names and maybe where you are from. A couple or so years ago I wrote a poem called, ironically enough Who I Am, kind of a this may be who you see me as but I am so much more. If I remember correctly there was a line that stated I am more than how I fix my hair or even the clothes that I wear. It is in there, actually I just found it and even with that poem it's amazing to see how who I was then to who I am today has changed for the better I think. Maybe that post is where I wrote about this question of who I am. Oh yeah back to me looking trying to see if I wrote about this already or not. Some of the title didn't jog the memory so I opened them to read. Quite often I thought no way I wrote that or how'd I even get to that thought (only God knows I'm convinced). I noticed something else even if ever so slightly, there was times of growth, maturing if you like. There was times of sorrow, confusion, apparently a lot of magenta days but a change through it all and though I hadn't really seen it besides most recently I truly began to notice it reading a few of those posts. I gave up trying to find out for sure and figured I'd just write it again if I have already wrote about it. Because even if I did already write about it I'm not the same person now that I was then and the next time I think of that question and write about it I hope I can see how I have continued to grow and change for the better becoming more and more to who I am. But who is that. At the end of that poem I wrote 'now there are chapters to review. This tale will have to be continued as I walk this land to find out who I am.' When I posted the original poem on Facebook someone wrote something along the lines of who you are is a child of God and a couple other things. At that time I couldn't whole heartedly believe or accept that, today I would say you know what yeah I am. So I suppose if I was to answer the question of who I am this would be my reply:

I am a sinner that is forgiven.
More chances then I deserved was I given. I laugh, cry and fall
Some days I do them all.Perfect I never will be but God still loves me. Everyday that I live  kindness, my time and love I try to give. So to answer who I am I'm not sure I that I can but I'm not in the same place thanks to God's amazing grace.

 So maybe that is one of those questions I spend to much time trying to create the perfect answer but flaws and all is what makes me who I am.

As I was trying to sleep I just felt this urgency yet the need to wait. Kind of like when a race car is at the starting line waiting for the light to change green. Hesitate to long after the light changes you lose valuable seconds, get in a hurry and go before the light changes you get some kind of penalty but keep the focus on the light (God) with the urgency and readiness and it's time to go oh the places you will go.

That's about all the thoughts I have to share