Laughing in the Dark

One of my favorite comedians is Chonda Pierce who recently released a documentary titled Laughing in the Dark (it will be showing for one day only again on November 17th and you may want to pre-buy the tickets if you want to see it because they sold out fast for the showing on October 27th). It's basically a bit of her comedy routine and then you get a little more in depth look at the stories behind her jokes and her life. She states in the documentary that it was originally supposed to be showing how a comedian can keep things clean and things like that but life had other plans. She lost her mom and husband of 31 years within a span of two years, she has depression (at one point in her career she had to take a break because the struggle with the disease was just to much to handle along with keeping up with her career.). She also talks about how her career came at a price of great sacrifices. To not completely spoil the movie in case you go see it in the theater in November or rent/buy the DVD whenever it may be released I will just say that I truly appreciate her honesty not only in the documentary but in her shows and even in what she posts on her Facebook page. There are a couple more things I do want to bring out about the movie and I promise I'll try to wrap this up. The movie was filmed off and on over a span of four years and at one point it shows Chonda talking about the season she was/is in and she said something that really struck me. It was along the lines of this season is not fun and she said I don't like it, I don't have to like it I just have to survive it. I'm not a big hugger but that was one of a few moments that I thought if I could I would give you a hug and thank you for saying that. Let me tell you why. Because I believe to often we somehow got this notion that we have to 1)act like everything is okay ALL of the time, 2) we seem to think we either deserve what we're going through and/or have to like it or just deal with it. And all of that is complete and utter rubbish. You're not going to like everything about the various seasons one goes through in life and some of them will just be terrible and seem like it will never end. Don't be hard on yourself if that happens, sometimes you just have to go through various stages to get through that season. Be it talking to someone, praying, writing out your frustrations or whatever you use to cope with things. Just like if you are climbing an actual mountain there are varying elevations and elements that you are going to encounter and the mountains of life are no different. Sometimes you have to rest and sometimes you have to change routes or change how you approach the climb. And sometimes you're not going to like the climb and that's okay you just got to survive it even if that means at one point you think you are going to be climbing on hands and knees to the top of that mountain you just keep telling yourself I will survive this. Last, or one of the last things I'll at least write about, that she said that really made an impact was when she talked about how she got to a point where she just had to believe that God really was always there and wouldn't leave and would carry her (that's the basics not word for word obviously). Then after she made the couple statements of what she finally had to believe she said I may not always feel it but I always believe it. Because there are going to be days you won't feel like that is the case but never stop believing. See sometimes I think, specifically Christians get to focused on giving the churchy answer and making the outside look perfect when the inside is dying because for whatever reason the person may not have anyone they can go to and just say will you pray for me or whatever. Somehow along the lines it seems like saying your a Christian became you have to be and have to put on the front that everything is perfect and you are okay all of the time when that's not what being a Christian is. But I suppose I should keep all of that opinion for another time so back to that always believing thing. See I really like that because, and do please forgive the long drawn out analogy, but it's like being on that mountain and slipping. Now you are on the edge and quickly losing your grip. Not really feeling like there is a way out, eh? But somewhere deep down you still believe that it's going to be okay and you're hanging on to that belief when suddenly you see a rope that you can grab on to and use to help get a better standing and have something to hold on to that will help lead you back to sturdy ground. Because hanging on to that belief even when you don't feel it that is true faith in my opinion. Lastly, if you are that person that has a hard day or is going through a difficult season (or even has depression, anxiety, etc.) I hope that you have at least one person you can go to and talk to, have them pray for you, call a hotline where you can talk to someone if you don't want to tell it to someone you know just please know you are not alone and that you do matter. If you know someone that deals with this obviously it affects everyone differently but sometimes maybe you shouldn't just assume they are okay and sometimes we all at one point need to know that someone is there. So I say if you happen to be thinking of that person call, email, or text and just say you was thinking about them or if you pray well pray for them and let them know I was just thinking about you, how are you I've been praying for you...whatever, who knows that message may just be the rope that is thrown over for them to grab on to.

For Such A Time As This

For everything there is a season,  a time for every activity under heaven...
 Ecclesiastes 3:1

You ever see something and then before you realize it you are seeing that something quite frequently. Kind of like how you never see, or hardly ever, see a car like you have until you get that car and then you notice the exact same vehicle constantly. Sometimes I do that with other things like that bible verse. Actually, now that I think about it there are a few bible verses that seem to be popping up quite frequently which are the previously mentioned one, the one referencing for such a time as this (Esther 4:14) and the one that states God makes everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Two things I can take from this 1) I have to much time to focus on things...over think, okay I have to much time to over think 2) funny how these all have something to do with seasons and time. I'm one to believe that everything happens for a reason, things happen when they are supposed to (sometimes delayed due to our own actions or those of others but in the long run it can still generally be seen that there was a reason for that and it ended up happening at the right time), and that sooner or later the truth will always be found. The truth is out there - as the X-Files so often said (speaking of which anyone else excited to see the new episodes next year?) I think sometimes one can become like Rip Van Winkle in a way that one becomes idle, lazy, comfortable what-have-you and we stay in seasons longer than was the original plan or one is busy 'sleeping' and miss his/her for such a time as this moment. I'm personally also learning to not be to harsh on myself if/when I do realize I overslept in a season or missed an opportunity to get me closer to that destination for such a time as this. Call it a pop quiz I wasn't prepared for but remember the lesson and try to be ready next time. Not that I always handle it that well but I try.  Back at the end of August I got  to go to Air1 Positive Hits tour (not sure if I wrote about it or not because I get lots of thoughts and ideas and write them out in my head but never get around to getting them typed out here or written down in a notebook/journal). Anyway, it was by far one of the best concerts I have ever been fortunate enough to get to go to. A couple of things have stuck with me since that day. One being how we are all different yet so much alike. For example NF told a bit of his background and I can relate to several of his lyrics yet how we got there is different but if you think about it at the center of it fear, lies and a few other terrible tasting ingredients can be found. Another thing was toward the end of the show, actually I think it was the last song Crowder sang and ended the show with he said something that kind of stuck. I won't get it right word for word cause that was a couple of months ago but he said something along the lines of if you all could see what I am seeing from here on this stage. Which, as weird as it sounds, truly amazed me because here I am in this room of hundreds of people not knowing their stories but to think and somewhat get a glimpse or an idea of how we all are going through some type of season on our way to such a time as this. No doubt on that stage Crowder saw people raising their hands some with tears in their eyes, some maybe standing there with their eyes closed in prayer telling God I don't know how or why I'm going through this or someone I know is going through this but I know you are still there and for that I thank you or maybe, just maybe one of those songs that was sang that night reminded someone to not give up and they finally felt a ray of hope that had been alluding them. See I don't know or truly understand what season I am at right now but I know that I am here and I am who I am right now for such a time as this.