I had a couple paragraphs written out, thought I was finally getting what I needed to write out. I was wrong. I was writing, yes, even had it flowing and sounding pretty but I don't need this post to be pretty or the words to flow and say what I think whoever may read this would want to read. I just need to be honest. I just need to have my many grammatical errors and my hillbilly talk. I just need to find my song and that's what I'm going to try to do.
The previous paragraph has been sitting in draft form for a long time and to be honest I'm still not sure how or what to write but let's see what song I can come up with. I'm going to start by sharing some lyrics for a song that I recommend you look up and listen to, titled Scars by I Am They:
Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn't trade it for anything
Cause my brokenness brought me to You
And these wounds are a story You'll use
So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars
Now I'm standing in confidence
With the strength of Your faithfulness
And I'm not who I was before
No, I don't have to fear anymore...
Physical scars are easier to get over, they heal and all you have is the scar to remind you of whatever happened to cause the scar (generally, physically scars can hurt too). Emotional scars, those can be very painful scars that can take a very long time to heal from - but you can heal from them - will it be easy each time, possibly not but there is healing. May I be a small voice of reasoning in case those emotional scars have caused the lies of you will not be this, you don't deserve happiness, this is your fault, etc of lies that are swirling in your mind. Every single one of those are lies, you are worthy, you deserve happiness and you will be happy, and a lot of times we are carrying loads that were never, ever ours to carry. If you are carrying one of those loads may I encourage you to lay it down, you've carried it long enough. If you can't lay it down right away please find someone to help you lay it down or at the very least help you carry it until you can lay it down. See that voice doesn't want you to hear your true song.
Last night as I was driving home I was listening to a song, I didn't know all of the lyrics to it but the ones I knew I would sing out (not really sing - be glad to never hear me sing, it's more of a noise!). It got me thinking. See I've been struggling with some fears that stem from some emotional scars and baggage that I have carried. I'll tell you three of them: scared beyond measure that things were going to happen and some people would leave and not be in my life anymore, that there was no way people could see me as their family or even why would they want me to be a part of their lives, and that I didn't deserve that and those people. LIE, LIE and another big old LIE. As I was listening to this song last night and I only knew parts of the lyrics I thought it's kind of like our own songs if you will. So often life gives us songs that were never meant to be on our playlists and we believe they have to stay and we even start to believe the lyrics that spew out nothing but lies of who we are. There are some parts of the emotional scars that are easy to beat and some they have cut so deep that it can be a little more tricky but you just keep playing the song of who you really are. All of our songs are different but put together they make one awesome playlist. See my song had been playing those lies I had mentioned plus a few more and it was so loud that's all I could hear, it was like when you play a CD and it skips, mine was skipping right over the lines of the truth. But something happened and I remembered this isn't all of the song so I cleaned up the CD if you will and tried playing it again. In real life wanna know what I did? I just so happened to be reading over some old messages that someone sent me and I realized one just how much they have put with me but also how much that they have encouraged me and help me carry the load and have helped me to sit it down and I also realized they really do see me as a part of their family and they don't mind that I see them as my family and to steal a line God knits people in your life cause He's a fantastic author and knows who you need (took me a long time to get that and more so to get that I am deserving to have those kinds of people in my life and to accept the love they have to give).
Hopefully in conclusion I just want to say that when your song is playing and it tries to play the old version and tell the lies and fears and whatnot may you and I both remember that those things that caused the scars are just a line in the song it's not the whole song. No matter how many times you have to replay it and no matter how loud you have to play it - sing those lines and verses of the truth of who you really are and you sing them loud because you deserve to be heard. You have a beautiful song and don't let anyone try to tell you that it doesn't deserve to be heard or played. And on those moments when you can't quite hear the lyrics of the truth or you just don't think you'll make I encourage you to go to someone you trust and let them help you (and if you are like me trust and know that God is there and will work it out - even though it isn't always easy to remember that, it is true) Because fear is a liar and you my friend are an overcomer and you know what I am too. I think we need to turn up our song and let some people hear it, what do you say?
No comments:
Post a Comment