I'm Afraid of the Dark

Some of you all ust read the title and are laughing, some already typing out God didn't give you a spirit of fear before they even open it, and some of you are thinking what in the world is she rambling about now (nothing wrong with either of those). That's a good question, I don't know if I will answer it but if you give me a few minutes of your time I would like to confess something.

I'm afraid of the dark.

Yes, you read that correctly and no I don't really mean the night time. Sure I used to be afraid of the dark when I was a kid but the night time is also when I got to see the stars and imagine flying up in the skies to get a better view. No, this is a different dark I am going to confess facing. I have no label or title for it so I just call it dark because that's how it feels - dark, empty, alone. Want to know what I am more afraid of than the dark? I'm afraid I won't find the light again.

Now that we got that out of the way please allow me to take this somewhat of a side road on this thought.  The dark, fear, lies, whatever of the many names it attacks you as has this way to make the ones facing it to maybe think I can't talk to so and so I will bother them,they are going through stuff themselves, etc. And for those of us that are seeing and know the darkness is attacking a loved one well sometimes there is this uncomfortable sense that may stop you from asking one more time are you okay, let's grab lunch, or to just sit. Seeing the tricks and lies is a huge step to getting through this,no I will not type get over it. Yes, sometimes people get so stuck you need to show a little tough love to snap them out of it and help them back up. But to be honest with you I don't like the phrase get over it or something that implies that. And no doubt I am guilty of saying that - my apologies to anyone I did that to. When I get over it, I don't it just gets buried because I didn't get that process of even dealing with why it bothered me and such but that just may be me and something else I need to work on. Here's what I want to do for me and I hope I can do for others. I want to get through it, I know it might not be easy and I may get beat up and I may fall a few times but I want to get through it so if there is a next time that I have to face a particular darkness I got some armor on and know that I can beat this and I will have some of my own tricks and maneuvers to fight back. And sure there may be a time you get over it but I'm getting through it, I'm going to fight back, I'm going to see the light.

I'm currently reading a book titled, What Grieving People Wish You Knew about What Really Helps (and What Really Hurts)
 by Nancy Guthrie..it was a book I kind of found by accident while looking through a section at the bookstore but I know so many that are grieving and I don't ever know what to say so it seemed worth buying. So far it has helped but I also realized these are not only good for someone grieving a loss of a loved one but really even in those moments that one may just be facing any kind of dark moment. I'm only in chapter 3 but if you will allow me the time I would like to point tout a few things that have stuck with me and can really be used with anyone facing a difficulty. One was thinking there was someone checking on them so they didn't and it becomes no one ends up being there for the person. Now you all know I am a firm believer you meet people for a reason and I believe God places people in your life and may we all have at least one person that we can go to or that will think I haven't heard from so and so I need to check on them. Please if you ever have that gut feeling listen to it, your simple message may make the person's day so much better. The other thing was we think the person we go to to talk needs to be left alone because they are going through stuff - on the other hand also don't get offended if they don't talk like they used to for a time. But they need time and space but not to the point of feeling deserted. This one has been a tricky one for me on both ends to be honest especially lately cause one of the people I have finally gotten comfortable to talk with is going through their own stuff and I keep not talking to them cause I feel like I will bother them (even more than I normally worry about that). And the last one I will mention is we worry we will say the wrong thing - so much so that we don't say anything. There is absolutely a time to just sit with the person but don't be afraid to say something no matter how simple or not helpful you think it may be because it really may come out wrong but it could also be just what the person needs to hear.

So the dark can be a pit but we won't be in the pit forever. This life can be tricky so may we not hesitate to help those that God puts in our life to help them out of the pit and sometimes that may even mean giving them a tough love kick (I'm fairly certain I have one I will be getting and rightfully so). See sometimes I will repeat the right words I know to say in trying to spark the light to brighten the room again and find my way out and every drop of the truth helps and I most definitely have to do my part but sometimes we need that trusted friend to pray with us, to kick us, to hold out a hand or lend an ear.

I'm afraid of the dark but I see the light.