I can see clearly now (that I'm terrible with titles!)

 Insert the most perfectly imperfect opening sentence here to grab your attention and make you want to continue reading...oh my friend have I got some ramblings to write about today if you got the patience and time to read this (if not skip to where you see me talking about glasses and sight just look for this *). I watched that cursor blink for quite some time then I wrote a paragraph and then I deleted it. It was then I heard something someone said to me just yesterday in fact. I always say I can't talk where people can hear me and to a degree that may always be true but when I said that I can't talk where I can be heard I was thankfully called out. I was told something along the lines of yes you can when you don't think about it. I automatically think anything and everything I say won't be heard, or I'll get excited and talk 'loud' and ramble on and be a bother, etc (and trust me this list goes on and on) and as I was staring at that cursor I realized I was doing the same thing. I can't write...yes you can when you don't think about it. Don't worry about the perfect opening sentence or paragraph. Just write it. So if you're still reading I'm going to just write my perfectly imperfect just maybe loud enough for you to hear it rambling thought.

In part of a conversation I heard that I'm still not sure if I wasn't supposed to say part of what I'm about to write or not but I'm going to write some thoughts that just won't leave me alone and perhaps I just need the reminder or maybe someone that reads this needs it. Two parts that keep coming to mind that was asked/said during this conversation was I just don't understand and Do you have any....

The first one I have absolutely no problem with I say I don't understand a lot and there are somethings that I just don't think it's time for me to understand, some I'm just not ever going to be smart enough to understand and somethings I'll just never understand. All of those are okay and in my own opinion I don't think God gets mad at me for going to Him and saying God I don't understand but I'm not going to end with that because though I don't understand and may never I want to ask and know what can I learn from this, how can I grow, how can I help others, how can I just rest in the unknown and not understanding.

The second one I have a smidgen problem with because if you aren't careful you become like Job's friends. His friends started off well they came and set with and was there with their friend. Then the started talking. Not a problem there at all. The problem was with what they said. They did the do you have any question...what did you do Job, what sin have you committed, what have you not repented of, etc. They intentionally or not added to Job's burden and trials. Not one time did they say Job can I pray for you...can I got to the market and get you something for these health ailments you got going on....can I take you somewhere to run an errand....can clean up your campsite...can I take you to my house to rest for a bit. No they just said do you have any....what did you do. Now there may be times you should ask someone this but don't let that be the only thing you say...here's my thinking and I may be wrong but don't say do you have any if you ain't going to say can I pray for you or can I sit with you during this.

*So even though I don't understand I believe I had a random thought that I think God used to show me something and maybe it was just for me or maybe I need to share it or at least write it on here to remind myself one more time. If you don't know me I have to wear glasses - I have terrible eyesight. If you saw me with my glasses you'd know that and you would think oh well she can see just fine now - not always the case though is it. Sometimes even with my glasses I have trouble reading a sign or something. Now if you know me and see me without my glasses you know I can't see but you don't know how little that I can't see. Sometimes that's the way it is in our trials and storms I can sometimes see and know you're in a trial but not how bad and sometimes I can't see at all that you're in a storm and not able to see....God upped this little thought because I then had this moment of just seeing if you will myself in a moment of where I desperately needed my glasses to see to do what I thought God wanted me to do but I had a moment of take your glasses off and sit them down....no I can't do that God I need them to see, how will I find my way....take the glasses off and look. So in this little thought I did, I take my glasses off and it's so blurry and I think okay now what I can't see God. Yes you can just look. I am God...no you're not. You think you need those glasses to get the answer to see the answer clearly but you're looking with the wrong set of eyes. See my glasses are my eyes or so I thought but in this moment of blurriness I did see I actually saw some stuff more clear than I have in a long time. Because in a particular situation specifically I've never given up that God is going to heal this person and I know that God sent them in my life to be my family (and I waited 24 years for God to decide it was time for them to be in my life and now that they've been in my life for four years well over half of that has been me seeing them have health problems and deal with pain and frustrations that I can't even begin to imagine but also faith that has helped me in my own walk). So if it was about this particular situation or lots of something elses or nothing at all. I do know one thing in that moment I realized that in my I don't understand moments of life I can't look with my glasses on but instead take them off and just look....remember what God has told me, what He has shown me time and time again, what He has promised (in His Word and what I believe He sometimes personally gives us) and in that moment do you see it now.....yeah I can see it now

 Sometimes we have to do a something that doesn't make very much sense and often times is just down right nerve wrecking. Sometimes we have to spend a longer time in the I don't understand season then we want to. More times than not we just need to speak even if they may not hear us and take our glasses off so we can truly see what's going on (no you won't see me taking my glasses off trying to drive or anything!) but to really see what's going on and how far we have made it in a certain situation or that the person we're praying for is going to be okay may not know when their season will be over of the trial/storm they're in but they're going to win and be okay.

So please never be afraid to say something even if it may be to loud cause you got excited or you had to repeat it cause it wasn't heard and don't always think you are seeing an outcome clearly because you have your 'glasses' on sometimes we need to take them off and not go by feelings, or what things look like, or an outcome others have had (especially if it was bad cause that can and will be used against you). And never, ever be afraid to say can I sit with you while you're going through this, are you okay, can I pray for you and/or can I do anything to help to lighten the load (and give some examples if something is on your heart especially even if the person is stubborn and you think there's no way they will let me help them - ask anyway and if it's praying well pray for them all the time they don't have to know but sometimes I think it gets put on our hearts to go and actually pray with the person too)


I guess that's all I got to say about that.



To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

                                                                                    Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8