What do you mean 2015 is already almost over?

I don't know if I'm the only one that feels like they just blinked and suddenly we're already almost at the end of 2015. I feel like I just got used to writing and saying 2015 for everything. I'm not one to make new years resolutions or at least not as far as at the beginning of the year stating I'm going to blah blah blah. I do constantly try to improve on my shortcomings but I don't make that a well I'll start on that in the new year or what have you no offense if that is something one does. I say do what works for you on improving or meeting ones goals not what the studies say to do because what works for the majority or for another person doesn't guarantee it'll give you the same results. With that I think I'll revisit a bit of what happened in 2015 for me again I didn't start the year with any real resolutions or really any particular goals. I do have to say that this has been overall a really great year. I love to travel but knew I wouldn't get any big trips in but ended up getting to have some of the best travels by just driving around the backroads and discovering hidden treasures of places. Better yet I got to go to some of these places with people I really care about in fact a couple of my favorite trips fall in that category. I got to meet new people this year. I think, hope, that I have matured and grown in ways. So as this year closes and a new one is about to begin I am thankul for all of the opportunities I had, the friendships I have and continuing to grow and improve not only in my faith but also into hopefully a good person and friend. Here's hoping that 2016 for you and I brings opportunities to meet whatever goals you have but perhaps most importantly may each day give us a chance to show others we care and encourage and help each other in this life because one can always use an encouraging word or help or to know they matter.

In closing I thought I'd share a few of my favorite pictures from my adventures this year.

 From one of my favorite trips that I got to go one this year

 This was another fun trip to see Anglin Falls

 From Winter Jam this year. This is always an event I look forward to going to not only because it is a fun, encouraging concert to go to but it's always great to spend time in line and at the concert with friends.

 Got to make a couple trips to a couple of zoos this year and this was probably by far one of my favorites I've ever gotten the chance to take

 I love music and as much as crowds can stress me out I love going to concerts and this was one of the absolute best concerts I was fortunate enough to get to go to this year.

 I added this one not because it's really that great of a picture although it was amazing to see Cumberland Falls that flooded but because it was one of those top favorite trips I got to go to not necessarily because of the destination but who I got to spend the day with. This particular day I got to spend with my little cousin and it was such a fun day.

  Autumn colors and mountains, doesn't really get much better!

I always love when I get a chance to find a covered bridge to go to

My Grown-Up Christmas List

It's that time of year again when generally you often get asked what you want for Christmas. I'm not a big fan of that question for a few reasons. One being I don't want people to spend their money on me and if I do happen to have something I could ask for I always feel like it's to expensive even if it is a used book. Another reason is because what I want for Christmas can't really be found or bought at a store and for whatever reason people tend to not believe me when/if I tell them these things that are found on my grown up Christmas list. For my personal list if you was to ask me here is what I want: for you to be my friend, which I tend to make more difficult than that initially sounds. It truly is that simple of a list, I don't need any expensive gadget or whatever is the next big thing just knowing I have a friend that is there for me. Since that list never cuts it I also find it amazing how difficult a time people seem to have finding me a gift (hint: you can even try asking one more time for me to do something with you and I might surprise you and say yes this time) but seriously books I can't feel guilty when I am gifted a book whereas I can sometimes feel when I buy that book I really wanted but need, well that could be argued. You know it always amazes and makes me happy when people will see something and they say they thought of you because that means they were listening or paying attention to something you said or did (also listening could easily be added to the grown up Christmas list because we all like to feel like we're being listened to when telling a story or that secret or something that you are going through). This time of year, as I recently put in a status on my FB page, can be a difficult time of year for people. It is a time with one of, if not, the highest rates of suicides which is heartbreaking (actually so no matter what time of year this happens). If I was to make my grown-up list a bit broader and not just include me here is what it would basically be this:

 That we would have a bit more patience and understanding. Not only during this time of year but the whole year around. For you see we truly don't know what others are going through. Recently I was in a store and was talking to an employee and had asked how his day was. When he greeted me he had a smile on his face and really friendly but when he answered my question he said he was having a long day and went on to say he had a lot on his mind. Just thinking about stuff. I didn't pry as to what was going on but said something along the lines of those days are rough and I hope things get better. Was there more I could've done probably I'm not sure but I will say that at the time I wasn't even going to ask how his day was going, which is rude on my part but I felt like I needed to ask and I did. And I think that's what I'm learning is that 1) you don't ever know what battle people are facing even if they have the biggest grin and seem like they have the perfect life and 2) it's not going to take a whole lot of your time to ask how someone is doing or take a few minutes to visit them. What seems trivial to you may make the biggest difference to someone. I've had people just randomly send a text or email and say something and it made my day and really encouraged me or someone has given me a hug when I needed it and just really helped. Never, ever underestimate what a kind word or deed will mean to someone even if it's just taking the time to listen, truly listen to them.

- To me the true meaning of this season isn't about the amount of boxes with your name on it or how much was spent or what is even in the boxes. When it's all said and done and people ask how was my Christmas I don't think about the gifts I got I think about who I got to spend the time with and hopefully we made memories. I mean it sounds like a cheesy Christmas movie I realize but it's true. I'll greatly appreciate those gifts that I may receive but I'm big on it's the thought that counts. I'm just adding to the cheesy factor, huh?! It's the truth though because for someone to even think about me or see something and they say I saw this and thought of you and had to get it for you or even taking the time to write a note or whatever I appreciate it more then I probably convey. 

How the Grinch Stole Christmas is one of my favorite books and cartoons to watch this time of year and I love this line:

And the Grinch, with his Grinch feet ice cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling:
"How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!" He puzzled and puzzed, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before: "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store-- Maybe Christmas--perhaps--means a little bit more."


 I guess I just want my list to include more of me taking time for others even if it's something as simple as sending a Christmas card. And not getting frustrated at the long lines in the store or at the cashier who may be having trouble because to some degree everyone we meet is going through something. So I guess in essence my Christmas list is for me and others to be more kind, more patient, more understanding, take the time to listen and don't forget everyone you meet has a story, and is going through something be it good or bad so if they tell you a story or about something that's going on share in their excitement if that's the case or offer a shoulder, kind word or something if it's a struggle they are facing. As dorky and ridiculously cheesy as it is I truly believe we meet people for a reason be it in passing or we get to be around them for a bit longer.

I suppose I should add a Christmas song but for whatever reason this song came to mind as I was typing this...

Fill In The Blank(s)

Going to school I would sometimes get work sheets where there was a key with words and then so many sentences where I had to use those words to fill in the blank of those sentences. Sometimes the key would have more words than sentences which was probably the time I had the strongest dislike for those sheets. I bring those worksheets up because I, like I tend to do to often, got thinking and there are times I think we treat people like one of those fill in the blank worksheets but the only problem is we all to often are using the wrong key with the words to fill in the blanks (sorry over using that phrase). I think as we grow up and the people we interact with we build up a key of words we associate with certain kinds of people we meet, whether they truly fit those words or not. For example, I wear glasses, the most common (besides the ever popular four eyes) terms one hears is geek, nerd, and smart. I may fall into none,any or all of those categories but I just wear glasses because I can't see without them. Or maybe that cheerleader/model type person you see and automatically think is stuck-up/snobbish when in fact they are one of the nicest person you could ever want to meet. The examples are many but I'll move on to my next thought dealing with this. This would be the box of words we seem to automatically have available for when we're talking to certain people. Ever been talking to someone and they keep trying to fill in the next words you are going to say and they are way off. I'm guilty of doing all of the above examples and I've had them done to me. Or the ever popular I know exactly what you are talking about and they go on to give their own example of what you are talking about only for you to be sitting there thinking that is not even close to what I was talking about. So then you replay the conversation in your head trying to figure out what you said to make the person get to that conclusion. Sometimes when trying to tell something it's like when trying to tell a joke and a person keeps interrupting with what they think the punchline is to the point that by the time you get to the punchline you have 1)forgot it yourself, 2) it's no longer funny cause the rest of the joke has already been forgotten, 3) you can insert your own for number 3 cause I seem to have misplaced my example! I think to often we try to guess where the person is going with what they are saying that we never hear anything they are saying and that's a real shame. I'm one that it can take a while to get my words organized to say what I want to and then I still don't seem to quite get it right but often times in those breaks I wonder if a lot isn't getting added to those blanks and if so I wonder how much is way off. I often wonder how much of what I do say and what is heard is understood (cause I do know it is difficult to follow me and my very random thoughts in a conversation. I can barely keep up and I know where I'm trying to go) Maybe to a certain degree we all feel a little misunderstood or not heard and maybe we all are. I guess, if there was a point, it would be that perhaps we shouldn't limit the words that will be used to a key of the same old used words. Sometimes it's good to add to that list, sometimes it's good to forget you even have that list (I'm finding the older I get the easier that is becoming whether I want to or not!). Most importantly of all, at least to me, is to not think there is a fill in the blank we need to fill in but instead we just take the time to listen and if we find there is a blank that we didn't hear or wasn't said then ask the question that way the correct word is put in to that blank.

Thankful...yesterday, today and tomorrow

November - the month of thankfulness and if you have a Facebook account you no doubt see friends that write something they are thankful for each day. About this time is usually when those begin to stop showing up for whatever reason. Considering what has been showing up lately in my newsfeed those days of thankfulness have been a welcome sight this year. I need as many happy, thank God there are still good people out there stories as I can to counter the banter, blame game and all of the negativity that if I'm honest sometimes feels like it's winning. I saw a picture recently that was about giving compliments to the stranger you pass (or even someone you know) because life can be difficult and people can be mean and you don't know just how much that compliment could mean to someone because you don't know what they are going through. I like to think I've made a difference, however small by doing this, but I can't say. I can however say I know this to be true because it has happened to me. Point being you just don't know what the stranger you pass or even your friend you're sitting next to is going through and it doesn't cost you a thing to give a compliment that could give them the encouragement or smile that has been eluding them. Tearing people down is easy. Take the game Jenga for example set the game up and with a quick push the blocks tumble to the floor but to set the game back up again it takes a little longer to get the blocks straightened out and stacked back up. People are like those blocks when they've been knocked down it can take a little while to get them stacked back up. So why be so quick to knock those blocks (people) down why not do everything we can to keep them standing. Maybe I'm wrong or weird or both and so much more but I just think now, perhaps more than ever, one should take that breath that you was going to knock someone down with and try to build someone up, to encourage them.

Now back to the days of thankfulness. I've decided to include a short list of my own of what I'm thankful for not only for the month of November but yesterday, today and every tomorrow I live to see. I'm thankful for everyone I've met and everyone that is in my life because each and everyone has helped me in some way whether you know it or ever realized it. Though at the time I'm not very thankful I am thankful and grateful for every storm I've went through because it helped me see that it is okay to open up and trust people, it helped and continues to help my faith grow stronger and thus far I have won every fight though I've not escaped all of them without some scars but that doesn't make me weak it just reminds me that with God, perseverance, and a few good friends this to shall pass. I'm thankful for those friends that somehow put up with me even when I tend to try to hide or just get lost and don't stay in contact with them as well as I probably should. I'm thankful for my health, job, food, home and all of the places I've been fortunate to travel to. I'm thankful for how much I've matured and grown over the years and for the opportunity to continue on this path for I may not know where all of the unseen turns are going to take me it's a ride some aren't fortunate enough to take or ride for as long as I have. So to everyone that has had a part in my journey I most sincerely thank you but most importantly I thank God.

Laughing in the Dark

One of my favorite comedians is Chonda Pierce who recently released a documentary titled Laughing in the Dark (it will be showing for one day only again on November 17th and you may want to pre-buy the tickets if you want to see it because they sold out fast for the showing on October 27th). It's basically a bit of her comedy routine and then you get a little more in depth look at the stories behind her jokes and her life. She states in the documentary that it was originally supposed to be showing how a comedian can keep things clean and things like that but life had other plans. She lost her mom and husband of 31 years within a span of two years, she has depression (at one point in her career she had to take a break because the struggle with the disease was just to much to handle along with keeping up with her career.). She also talks about how her career came at a price of great sacrifices. To not completely spoil the movie in case you go see it in the theater in November or rent/buy the DVD whenever it may be released I will just say that I truly appreciate her honesty not only in the documentary but in her shows and even in what she posts on her Facebook page. There are a couple more things I do want to bring out about the movie and I promise I'll try to wrap this up. The movie was filmed off and on over a span of four years and at one point it shows Chonda talking about the season she was/is in and she said something that really struck me. It was along the lines of this season is not fun and she said I don't like it, I don't have to like it I just have to survive it. I'm not a big hugger but that was one of a few moments that I thought if I could I would give you a hug and thank you for saying that. Let me tell you why. Because I believe to often we somehow got this notion that we have to 1)act like everything is okay ALL of the time, 2) we seem to think we either deserve what we're going through and/or have to like it or just deal with it. And all of that is complete and utter rubbish. You're not going to like everything about the various seasons one goes through in life and some of them will just be terrible and seem like it will never end. Don't be hard on yourself if that happens, sometimes you just have to go through various stages to get through that season. Be it talking to someone, praying, writing out your frustrations or whatever you use to cope with things. Just like if you are climbing an actual mountain there are varying elevations and elements that you are going to encounter and the mountains of life are no different. Sometimes you have to rest and sometimes you have to change routes or change how you approach the climb. And sometimes you're not going to like the climb and that's okay you just got to survive it even if that means at one point you think you are going to be climbing on hands and knees to the top of that mountain you just keep telling yourself I will survive this. Last, or one of the last things I'll at least write about, that she said that really made an impact was when she talked about how she got to a point where she just had to believe that God really was always there and wouldn't leave and would carry her (that's the basics not word for word obviously). Then after she made the couple statements of what she finally had to believe she said I may not always feel it but I always believe it. Because there are going to be days you won't feel like that is the case but never stop believing. See sometimes I think, specifically Christians get to focused on giving the churchy answer and making the outside look perfect when the inside is dying because for whatever reason the person may not have anyone they can go to and just say will you pray for me or whatever. Somehow along the lines it seems like saying your a Christian became you have to be and have to put on the front that everything is perfect and you are okay all of the time when that's not what being a Christian is. But I suppose I should keep all of that opinion for another time so back to that always believing thing. See I really like that because, and do please forgive the long drawn out analogy, but it's like being on that mountain and slipping. Now you are on the edge and quickly losing your grip. Not really feeling like there is a way out, eh? But somewhere deep down you still believe that it's going to be okay and you're hanging on to that belief when suddenly you see a rope that you can grab on to and use to help get a better standing and have something to hold on to that will help lead you back to sturdy ground. Because hanging on to that belief even when you don't feel it that is true faith in my opinion. Lastly, if you are that person that has a hard day or is going through a difficult season (or even has depression, anxiety, etc.) I hope that you have at least one person you can go to and talk to, have them pray for you, call a hotline where you can talk to someone if you don't want to tell it to someone you know just please know you are not alone and that you do matter. If you know someone that deals with this obviously it affects everyone differently but sometimes maybe you shouldn't just assume they are okay and sometimes we all at one point need to know that someone is there. So I say if you happen to be thinking of that person call, email, or text and just say you was thinking about them or if you pray well pray for them and let them know I was just thinking about you, how are you I've been praying for you...whatever, who knows that message may just be the rope that is thrown over for them to grab on to.

For Such A Time As This

For everything there is a season,  a time for every activity under heaven...
 Ecclesiastes 3:1

You ever see something and then before you realize it you are seeing that something quite frequently. Kind of like how you never see, or hardly ever, see a car like you have until you get that car and then you notice the exact same vehicle constantly. Sometimes I do that with other things like that bible verse. Actually, now that I think about it there are a few bible verses that seem to be popping up quite frequently which are the previously mentioned one, the one referencing for such a time as this (Esther 4:14) and the one that states God makes everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Two things I can take from this 1) I have to much time to focus on things...over think, okay I have to much time to over think 2) funny how these all have something to do with seasons and time. I'm one to believe that everything happens for a reason, things happen when they are supposed to (sometimes delayed due to our own actions or those of others but in the long run it can still generally be seen that there was a reason for that and it ended up happening at the right time), and that sooner or later the truth will always be found. The truth is out there - as the X-Files so often said (speaking of which anyone else excited to see the new episodes next year?) I think sometimes one can become like Rip Van Winkle in a way that one becomes idle, lazy, comfortable what-have-you and we stay in seasons longer than was the original plan or one is busy 'sleeping' and miss his/her for such a time as this moment. I'm personally also learning to not be to harsh on myself if/when I do realize I overslept in a season or missed an opportunity to get me closer to that destination for such a time as this. Call it a pop quiz I wasn't prepared for but remember the lesson and try to be ready next time. Not that I always handle it that well but I try.  Back at the end of August I got  to go to Air1 Positive Hits tour (not sure if I wrote about it or not because I get lots of thoughts and ideas and write them out in my head but never get around to getting them typed out here or written down in a notebook/journal). Anyway, it was by far one of the best concerts I have ever been fortunate enough to get to go to. A couple of things have stuck with me since that day. One being how we are all different yet so much alike. For example NF told a bit of his background and I can relate to several of his lyrics yet how we got there is different but if you think about it at the center of it fear, lies and a few other terrible tasting ingredients can be found. Another thing was toward the end of the show, actually I think it was the last song Crowder sang and ended the show with he said something that kind of stuck. I won't get it right word for word cause that was a couple of months ago but he said something along the lines of if you all could see what I am seeing from here on this stage. Which, as weird as it sounds, truly amazed me because here I am in this room of hundreds of people not knowing their stories but to think and somewhat get a glimpse or an idea of how we all are going through some type of season on our way to such a time as this. No doubt on that stage Crowder saw people raising their hands some with tears in their eyes, some maybe standing there with their eyes closed in prayer telling God I don't know how or why I'm going through this or someone I know is going through this but I know you are still there and for that I thank you or maybe, just maybe one of those songs that was sang that night reminded someone to not give up and they finally felt a ray of hope that had been alluding them. See I don't know or truly understand what season I am at right now but I know that I am here and I am who I am right now for such a time as this. 

I once had a thought...I think

Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt

Comparison is like a ninja and will have stolen your joy and so much more before you can even realize it if one isn't careful. Why do we even compare our path with others anyway? All it does is cause one to get so caught up in all one is not and before long you are blinded to see all that you are. It makes you feel like you aren't good enough, not where you should be in life, you start to feel overlooked, unimportant and oh look now we have got boxed in with all of these lies and the truth of who you are is but a very dim light that seems to be fading quickly.

It's been so long and I've had so many, and I do mean many, ideas and thoughts of what I wanted to write that I'm not even sure if that was all I was going to write of the previous paragraph and if I was going to add more I have no idea what it could have been. With that being said (typed?) I'll go ahead and leave that, who knows I may come back to it before I finish this post up. I have no idea actually where to go from here so I guess just a typing we shall go and see where this path leads. This post sure is taking forever to write, I may have something decent by the end of September at this rate!

However, back to the comparison thought I originally started with (yeah I think I finally sort of remembered where I was going with the thought.) I find it somewhat sad that I (can't fairly say we since don't know if whoever reads this fits into this or not) but I sometimes get so busy comparing myself to others that I can forget we all have a lot in common if you think about it. Sometimes one can eadily get stuck on the comparison train, that thing will make you sick cause it just goes in circles and gets you no where. Seriously though if you listen you can constantly hear how people consciously or not compare themselves to others. When to some degree and at some point we are all fighting the same battle(s) or at least to get some of the same goals. Have you ever listened, really listened not just to reply but to hear the tiredness or excitement in a persons voice. I guess the point I wanted to make is not to spend so much time focused on the outside and filling in the blanks of a persons life when 1) you can take the time and listen to get the right answers to those fill in the blanks 2) we generally all have a lot more in common than we either want to admit or dare to see and 3) there's a purpose for the very road you are taking might not be the one you think you want or even deserve and you may be right on both accounts but the road of the person you compare yourself to well there may have been parts that person had to go where no road was and pave it maybe it was dirt or gravel for a long time but you are just seeing the freshly paved and painted road. Who knows that might be the very person that helps you figure out the easier way to get passed a big pot hole in your own road.

A few last random thoughts and I think I can call this post finished. Have you ever had to open an old file and pull out a piece of advice someone gave you or maybe from something you read? I have to do that sometimes but there are times the advice seemingly pops in my mind or I'll see something that off the wall makes me think of that bit of advice not even really realizing I needed it or that it could help with something I may be dealing with. That has happened a couple of times recently. And once again one time me randomly (as in getting out of my car just looking down at the driveway random) I found a feather (which is weird at how it makes me smile and reminds me of a couple of things I guess) and then a few things that people have told me. I know you think I'm not listening, okay sometimes I really may not be, but I for the most part am listening and taking as well as appreciating the help or advice. Funny random thought sometimes I get stuck on listening to a particular song for days, listening to other songs too but always going back to that one and hitting repeat A LOT! I've done that for the past couple of weeks on one song and wouldn't you know the singer still gets the lyrics wrong! Kidding but one would think if I listen to a song as much as I have this one I'd more than easily have the correct lyrics memorized. Repeating songs and the same topics on here are things I do to often perhaps. I don't know songs can be good with my version of the lyrics too, at least fun. Lucky you, assuming you've read this far, will get spared reading about this latest series I'm reading. To much to write to really get into, hopefully I do get around to it though. Until then don't let others in the driver seat of your life and be careful who you let sit in the passengers seat but don't ignore the people in the backseat
or at the stops I'm a firm believer in that there's a purpose for those we meet and are lucky enough to get to ride with on this ride called life.