I may be wrong, but I think every one at some time or another has dreamt of what it would be like to be another person, perhaps walking in the footsteps of a famous public figure. I imagine that's why those fortunate enough to have the gift to portray others get into acting so they, for a little while, can become someone else. I wasn't blessed with that kind of talent but I do have an exceptional love of reading and that is how I become someone else and travel to many different places and time periods. I must be honest and admit for awhile I had lost the enjoyment I so often got from reading but thankfully the past few books I've found to read have brought back my appreciation and want to read. Not to mention it has kept me away from television, at least until the new season of Castle begins, so that's a positive thing. The only bad thing is when reading a good book I become torn because I want to rush back to the characters and see what happens next but then I don't because I know it will be over all to soon. If you read this blog much at all it is no secret how these last few books have really got me thinking, if that's good or bad is still debatable. I've not finished the current book, To Know Her By Name (by Lori Wick), but I just had to try to sort through my thoughts and try to write. I love this book because the main female character is quiet, clumsy, and keeps people at arm's length, much like myself. In the book Callie, or Pup, is clumsy but only when she is herself. See Pup works for the treasury department as a spy and when she takes on a new persona for her job she isn't clumsy. She even has to use this at times when she's not on the job. Now to what the book got me thinking about. I think that just like Callie we sometimes have to put on a different persona and clothes to not show certain sides of ourselves and it all can depend on who we are around or even due to circumstances surrounding us at the time. I find it a bit fascinating how we can, even at times unknowingly, put on these different facades around people. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism or our way of being who we think the other person sees us as. Some people of course do it to hide who they really are, whether it's because they really are a bad person trying to not let it show or because the person is afraid to let others see the real them for fear of rejection, ridicule, etc. Just like in the book Callie is beginning to wonder if her job is worth not being able to trust people and having to keep them at a distance I can't help but wonder if we are putting on these facades without fully seeing or understanding the possible consequences. I know certain people I get more quiet around all the while I'm so desperately wanting to talk to them. Being clumsy, well I'm just starting to claim the ability to trip on air as a talent and go with that. Like Callie, I've gotten to the point I just go on like nothing happened when I trip on that invisible high place on the floor. I don't think there is nothing wrong with having different ways to interact with people, just like there is a time and place to act a certain way there are many different ways to interact with people but when does it cross the line of becoming someone you really aren't? I think that's what's important to know and understand about oneself. I may be quiet and clumsy but that is the real me, granted, if you pick a select few subjects I'm more talkative but still quiet and always clumsy. I won't say I don't or haven't put on facades around people because if nothing else I have when I would put on my I'm okay face when inside I was most definitely not okay. Now for my very randomly placed favorite quote from the book(so far, although there was another that really made me laugh but taken out of context it loses what makes it so funny):
"You don't say much do you?" McKay
"Not if I don't have anything to say." Callie
(I wish I could remember to say this the next time someone brings up my lack of talking.)
Honest to goodness last thought. I know this post, like so many of the other ones I've written, doesn't make much sense. If nothing else I hope my point that we shouldn't layer on to many different persona's because we may soon lose some of our true personality is found somewhere in all these sentences. Even if it doesn't seem as glamorous or doesn't make a difference our personality makes us unique and whether we see it or not and for better or worse it can make a difference. One should never, ever compromise who they are just to fit in or be who they think someone wants them to be just to keep them in their life. Whatever your true personality is it is what makes you who you are and me who I am even if that does make me quiet and clumsy with the tendency to keep people at arm's length.
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