Not sure why I'm having such a difficult time writing here lately. Lord knows it's not due to shortage of thoughts but none seem worth sharing yet here I am typing. I'm just going to type and not think, not try to worry about making it sound spectacular (not that it ever does of course). If this was being read from my journal I would say shall we turn the page and begin but I guess you'll have to turn an imaginary page.
Sometimes I forget who I am not literally my name (thanks to having a name I cheat by finding on the calendar) but who I've worked to become and how far I've come. It's like I'm at the intersection of the yellow brick road and I suddenly forget where I was even going in the first place. I can sometimes stand to long at the intersection even going in circles before I am reminded by myself or sometimes by the scarecrow (a friend who then walks with me along the road after we begin on our way). Ted Dekker wrote a status on his Facebook page stating what if you were Superman (or woman) but you forgot and so you were in your Clark Kent clothes until someone told you that you really were Superman. You of course dismiss this but they tell you go to a phonebooth and change and you'll see you are Superman. But as Ted Dekker wrote until you 'see' who you are you cannot 'be' who you are. Sometimes I forget to see who I am and who I strive to be (even why) until I take away my disguise I wear to try to please others or because I want to fit in or whatever reason but I need to remember I can fly. I spend to much time not seeing who I am and preventing myself from being who I can be. I think sometimes I forget there is more than one way to write a story (life). Just because one chapter may show up later or possibly not at all in my book doesn't make it a bad story. I just don't want to forget I can fly and miss out on writing (living) one of the best chapters in my story.
Speaking of stories I've been reading The Thread That Runs So True by Jesse Stuart (an unexpected great find thanks to Half Priced Books). It's so far a rather interesting read. I'm fascinated by others stories and especially when they take me back to times I would love to have gotten to witness (maybe but hearing first hand stories puts these times in a whole new aspect often times). It's kind of amazing how some things advance and no matter what time you are living or reading just as many things have remained the same. Anyway, it's an interesting read so far seeing how the school system was back then. Getting to read about his experiences teaching at one room schools has so far been my favorite. Don't know why I'm so fascinated by the one room school. It reminded me of some teachers I had over the years and how they made learning fun. Teachers impacts on your life don't end at the school year they can last a life time. I highly respect those teachers that go above and beyond for their students not for recognition but they do it for the students. I think it's safe to say we all had at least one teacher that you at least once wondered why they got in that profession but more often, I hope, you have at least one teacher but hopefully more you can look back on and have a memory of how they helped you figure something out you was having trouble with or some advice that has helped you even long after you were in their classroom.
I'm a very awkward person and it's even worse when people do things for me. Often times my first reaction is I think you got the wrong person (not that I exactly say that) but why I do that I don't know. It's always nice when people do things from listening to you, hanging out or they give you a gift saying they thought of you when they saw it (not that it's about the gift but to me it's special they were listening and they get things about you that you like and they thought of you when they saw it. And that includes things you can't buy). And it adds to the specialness when a kid comes to you and gives you a gift be it a drawing or whatever just melts the heart it does.
And I suppose that's enough writing for now
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