Do you ever...

I'm calling this particular post do you ever...because everything from here on out will be based on that statement. Why, I have no idea it popped in my head and I'm just going with it. To make sure you don't get tired of reading do you ever, I'll just type it once and you can add it if you want as you read it.

Do you ever... (or have you ever in the case of the first example)

...known someone that no matter what you say you have that person has it and it's worse (in the case of health) or they've already done it (in the case of everything else). I know someone that if you say you didn't sleep good well they only slept a few hours (always less than you did if you mention it) and same goes for if you say you don't feel good. I sometimes want to ask if they have the go-bloots from the booshoo bird just to see if they say they do or not. Or ask if they've ever had their zorch removed. (for the record both of those are references from the I Love Lucy episode, Lucy Fakes an Illness). I no doubt am guilty of doing this to some degree if I catch myself I try to make sure I stop myself from saying something to make my situation sound worse, whether it is or not. I guess some people say it to maybe let the person see they aren't the only one having to deal with it or maybe they are trying to get attention I don't know.

...reference what you thought was a well known expression or plot from a television show or movie only to realize that no one got it and often times just look at you with that I-have-no-idea-how-to-respond-to-that look. Or perhaps it is just an annoyed look that I am once again referencing a show/movie and at a time that was irrelevant. I do tend to reference older shows but it's fantastic when someone gets it, although it's funny to me even when no one gets it.

...just get really excited when you are scanning through radio stations and hear a song you haven't heard in a while or have been wanting to hear. That is the best. Or when you find a CD with a song you absolutely love. Kind of like finding a song you love and playing it on repeat to the point that it probably isn't considered normal.

...have one of those days where no song is fitting the mood you are in and it's quite frustrating because all you want to do is listen to music but each song just isn't the right one to listen to more than a few seconds.

...find it amazing how you can remember all of the lyrics (correct or not) from previously mentioned songs yet you can't remember where you just left your keys five minutes ago.

...feel like it's a gift giving holiday (your choice which one) when you unexpectedly find something you didn't even realize you had lost then wonder how important it really is you keep said object if you didn't even realize you had lost it.

 ...love those moments when someone is trying to tell you a funny story or joke and they keep laughing so much you miss half of the story or the line that makes the punchline make sense but yet you still find yourself having a great laugh just by seeing the other person laughing.  Because a good, hearty, sincere laugh really is sometimes the best medicine. I love to be able to make people laugh (bonus points if you can when the person really isn't in the mood to laugh).

...notice how when you do something that you are sure will get a huge laugh crashes and doesn't get the reaction you think yet something you just do without thinking can often times get the biggest laugh and you are like what did I say or do that was so funny.

...wonder if this list will ever end

....read this blog and think I just wasted those few minutes of my life. I will never get that time back, why did I do that and/or I am fairly certain I have already read something similar to this on here before. (I actually am wondering if I haven't written something similar to this before, probably multiple times)

On that note I believe this is a good place to end this because it's hurting my thinking trying to come up with anymore at this point even though I know somewhere hidden under all of those layers are many more examples.

Excuse me I got lost in my thoughts

I know my value, anyone else's opinion doesn't really matter - Peggy Carter (Agent Carter, TV series)

 What follows may or may not have anything to do with that quote I don't know because I don't really have or know what to write about I just feel compelled to write, so I sit pushing buttons on the keyboard. I will say that I absolutely loved the show Agent Carter and that quite possibly my most favorite quote (besides some of the funny lines and banter of Agent Carter and Jarvis of course). I will say that as many variations of that line I've heard/read it stuck a little bit more after watching the series. I say that because I realize that people can disrespect you, hate you for who you are or what you have, take credit for the work you've done, etc. what matters in the end is you know your worth (or value) and not everyone will see or admit that they see that value but as long as you know and don't let others take away that then you have more than a lot of people have especially those that belittle you. I wonder if that even makes sense, to try not to get to lost in my thought and this end up being deleted before it even begins I'm choosing to not go back and read it but instead just type as fast as I can to get something typed. You know what's dangerous about worrying to much about others opinions? One thing is you don't know what is behind that persons opinion and most likely the person making the opinion doesn't know the complete story. Look at society and how they try to tear people down all so they can sell a product or so they can try to fit everyone in a specific box to make you fit into a stereotype. Granted there are a few peoples opinions I seek out and I respect and I think you should to an extent but don't hold everything you have on those opinions that becomes....well you aren't going to be happy with who you are no matter what you do because you aren't being you but instead are becoming and being all of what others say you are and can do. When you do that you can miss out doing some amazing things because you believe you can't or don't even realize it is a possibility. You shouldn't let others opinions blindfold you to your value because that's the core of what makes you unique and able to do so much. I think I liked this line because it's not saying just do whatever you want and it doesn't matter what others think or what it does to others but it's, or for me anyway, it's meaning more of just don't listen to the voices of the ones that knock you down or try to take away from who you are or what you have accomplished. You know there may be times when you can't call someone up for an opinion or whatever so you need to be able to listen to your inner voice and be able to stand on the fact that you know your own worth. I hope I'm accurately conveying what I want to and before I go on in circles anymore I'm going to go on to another thought...or end this whichever.


This past week and a half or so of winter has just drained me, winter has become that guest that quickly wears out there welcome...or me when I actually visit someone! Before I complain anymore I am thankful to have a house with heat and clothes to wear to keep me warm. I'm just feeling a bit claustrophobic from having to be stuck inside for so long and like a penguin from having to wear so many layers of clothes. Winter is my least favorite season because I am stuck inside so much and if I can't find something to occupy my attention (which is more difficult for me when I am stuck in the house) then I get lost in my thoughts and that is never, ever good because for some reason I just get lost I can't sort them as much. However, when I can get out and walk and if I get lost in a thought I somehow can sort through the thought and stay more focused. It makes no sense but I don't do well with cabin fever. It makes a huge difference when I decide to stay in the house all weekend and not have any contact with anyone but when the weather decides it's going to make that decision for me well I just don't appreciate that and don't adjust well to it. More power to you and kudos to you if you love winter but I'm done with it but seasons ( the actual ones and the ones of life) are what makes the world go around and I just got to suck it up buttercup and be glad I have the means to stay warm and weather this season (again the actual one and ones I have to deal with in life).

If I added the typical how are you doing? Good, how are you? and you read this from here on up it could almost be a typical conversation with me. Not that I necessarily say that much but in the fact that it almost goes with the how you doing and then something about the weather and that's where it ends but the first paragraph(s) would be something that I'd love to talk about but for whatever reason(s) I don't get around to it.

On that note I think it's past time to end this post, okay it was time after the quote but I've written all of this and I don't want to delete it so I'll post it. Until the next time when I once again get lost in my thoughts and type the same sentence many different ways and go in circles. Kinda like when you get so used to driving one particular route that you forget there are other routes to take until the day there is a detour. Sometimes I think detours happen in life so that we take a route that we haven't taken in awhile and whoops I got lost in another thought again. I will save finishing that and any other thoughts. Really I will this time.

Broken Pieces

The older I get the more I'm starting to understand and believe that the moment you want to give up is when you are closest to your goal. You ever just get an overload of discouragement and it seems that is the moment that you're brain nitpicks and notices every little thing (or even more so if you are sometimes like me and you're brain tends to do that on a regular basis). I'm finding out a lot about myself during these occasional bouts of discouragement that plagues us all at some point, after all it is during these times that one tends to find out the most about oneself and the depth of strength and courage they had hidden within them. Here's what I'm starting to think, I am a bunch of broken pieces put together. That by itself doesn't sound that grand, perhaps it even sounds depressing. However, the awesome thing, the thing no one really says, is that broken pieces can become a masterpiece. I've read that the Japanese will mend something that has broken with gold because they believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. How true this can be for a person. I think to often people get stuck on the fact that if/when they get the broken pieces put back together it won't be perfect, there will be lines (scars) seen but that's what makes it (you) beautiful and awe - inspiring, a true influence to perhaps others but most importantly yourself because it's proof that you can be broken but put back together and persevere. I guess that sounds super cheesy but it sometimes seems that we to often focus more and worry more about hiding the broken pieces and pretending everything is okay when sometimes it's not and that's perfectly okay because as not fun as bad days are they can be needed to help us grow and if nothing else appreciate the good days. You'll sometimes hear people say it feels like they take one step forward and two steps backwards and that is unbelievably frustrating but even with the steps backward you are still one step closer to where you want to be. Now it is at this time I am going to quote Alice from Alice in Wonderland because...I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. It is at these times that is great to have friends that will reiterate the advice you may have given yourself but convinced yourself that it is complete and utter nonsense but if you hear someone else say it then sometimes it clicks and sticks. And sometimes you just have to hit rock bottom before you can find your footing and start the climb back out and that's okay too. No shame in hitting rock bottom, just like it doesn't matter how many times you fall as long as you keep getting back up. It doesn't matter how you look when you cross that finish line it just matters that you cross it. You may cross that line with tattered clothes, hair in a mess, scrapes and bruises and think it is just a disgrace to cross it looking like that but that would be wrong. Here's how I see it if you cross that finish line looking like that you know what that means, it means you are a force not to be reckoned with because you found an inner strength and courage that most people give up looking for just when they are about to find it. You didn't quit no matter how many detours, road blocks or times you fell. Sometimes the one that starts out with seemingly all they need, or the loudest shout (even the best trash talk) are the first ones that turn around. However you look when you cross the finish line don't look at where the broken pieces are mended as flaws or hindrances  but as part of your story and what others may have once said was damaged or broken and could never be put back together you took and mended the pieces together and made into one amazing masterpiece that found strength and courage to keep going. People that keep going are the ones that endure and are the ones to watch out for cause they will go oh so very far. Long story made even longer by this statement....no matter what do your absolute best not to completely give up in the middle of your discouragement. Fall as many times as it takes but always, always get back up even if you have to sit there for a few minutes to get things better figured out. Just do not give up in the middle of your discouragement because just around the corner may be the person with the encouraging word or you find the answer yourself that you've long been searching for to get you that one step closer to your goal.

Spoilers...(it's to early to think of a title)

Sometimes my very random and hectic way of thinking can get me to a song, quote, or a book that has something I need to be reminded of or says exactly what I've been, without luck, desperately searching to find the right way to phrase what I want to say, what I'm thinking. Recently while scrolling through my news feed on Facebook I saw a quote from a page that really struck me. In fact, that quote went along so well with all the junk going on in my head and reminded me what was most important and what I really needed to be trying to focus on again. As I so often do I couldn't leave it alone so curiosity got me wondering about the person that said this and after doing a search I found the complete quote and learned it was from a lady that had written her accounts of her life as a little girl in Germany during WWII ( Queen of the Bremen: The True Story of an American Child Trapped in Germany During World War II by Marlies Adams Difante). I'm not going to get into any of the accounts that is written but I will say that this book along with The Diary of Anne Frank will forever stick with me and I definitely recommend reading it (yes the quote and reading the first few pages of the book on Amazon made such an impact I had to immediately buy the book and finished reading it in one setting). These accounts show me what true courage, strength and having faith is. Christopher Reeve said a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles and I think that's true. As sad, emotional and thought provoking as it can be to read these accounts and realize this is true, people really faced these conditions and not only for WWII but other historic events, I'm forever in debt and glad that these people that survived these unimaginable events are willing to share their stories. I'm appreciative because it's in these accounts I get the honest perspective and not just the important dates that I needed to learn in school to know when certain events happened. It's not only for major events in history I will soak up any story that people tell me of things that happened when they were growing up. It's a real life audio book, that's what people are and they don't even realize it. Be it I'm just at the right time and place for someone to tell a story, I get the nerve to ask them something and/or I do just have one of those faces that people tell their plans and stories to I absolutely love to sit and listen to someone give an account to events that took place in their life because I've never met anyone that didn't have a story to tell and when I finally get to hear it I almost always take something from it and add it to my little file of wisdom and lessons I've learned from others along this journey. I almost forgot, that quote I saw, well this is what it was....

I hope you’ll learn that no matter how bad things become, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. As long as you have faith in God, respect, and love for each other, you can make it—no matter what.

You are correct Mrs. Diftante, you are correct indeed.