I guess with my last post I should have put a footnote with the first paragraph. That note would have said, *Not every day that starts out and even stays overwhelming and/or bad am I able to just laugh it off and pretend everything is okay because some days it's just to much and all I can do is just throw my hands up and say I give up (end of footnote). As I posted on FB sometimes all you can do is sit down for a bit and think (really hope) that tomorrow will be better. I say all of that because go figure after I post that about bad days and laughing them away a couple days ago I had a really bad day and couldn't find anything to laugh, or even have a good cry over, so I did the throwing my hands up in defeat and frustration. Later in the day I found myself at a place I could just sit down by myself for a brief moment and not think or do anything but listen to the sound of water cascading over rocks which is so relaxing and calming. It's hard to be in a terrible mood while listening to that. And while on the subject of bad moods, apparently it's rare I show people my bad moods and what not because I had someone say you rarely ever let things get to you or have a bad day. It would seem I'm a better actor then I thought. It really does take a lit to get to me, well get where I'm vocal about it getting to me and will show that I'm bothered or will talk to someone about it. Granted, there are a few people that know me well enough that I can't fool them at all (they've not pushed the subject when I said nothing is wrong but I don't think I fooled them.) I am human and do have my limits and some days I just can't handle it as well as others, or what usually happens is I have tried to tuck away to much in a very limited space and a feather falls down on that pile and barely touches all that I've bottled up and before you know it....hello bad day and break down. As the saying goes, fall down seven times get back up eight (no matter how bad I fall on those terrible days what's important is that I get back up even if I have to ask for help.)
Have you ever been talking and/or listening to a conversation and someone will say you said something you know good and well that was not what you really said or even close to a summary to what you said. Makes you wonder what conversation they was a part of or where their thoughts was at when you said what you really did say. I guess it is true people hear and see what they want to, at least at times. I've occasionally tried to correct them but they always go back to the incorrect wording of what I said. Part of me wants to ask when I said that but obviously it wouldn't help or matter because they will always be convinced that is what I said. So I generally just say sure, or nothing at all, and correcting it in my mind or just thinking that is not what I said. I don't know maybe the way I talk or phrase things it does sound like that's what I'm saying and my true meaning and point isn't heard or understood. Oh well it is what it is and apparently sometimes I find it irritating.
You know if I could talk to people as easy as Ican animals, especially dogs, it would make things so much easier. I may could even have an easier to follow conversation with my friends for once in my life. Small talk with people equals awkwardness and panic but small talk with an animal I can do that because there's no pressure and they are great listeners! Of course my true friends have patience with me and for that I'm grateful so it's all good I reckon. Still it'd be nice if small talk, or at least talking in general, wasn't always so difficult.
Have you ever heard the saying, if your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either. I agree animals and even kids can be a fairly good judge of people. With that being said when that statement is pointed directly at me I would question whether it could be true or not. It seems I can fool dogs, generally anyway, and they like me. I had one follow me around at a park before and one walk with me from my car to my uncles house. So either I am good at fooling dogs (and people) and making them think I'm a decent person or I'm fooling myself to think I'm not a very good person, a combination of the two or there's nothing to said statement at all. I have more scenarios but by now I imagine you get the point and no need to write them. I don't have a dog so I'll try not to over think it and just be glad when a dog (and of course people) like me.
You ever have friends that are more like family. I like to call them framily - people that start out as friends but before you know it they become more like family then just friends. Those kinds of friends are the rarest kinds of friends which makes it even more special when you find them.
I think I'm finished now :)
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