Well I finally stepped out of my comfort zone and attempted to publish all of my poems. I feel like I should pay someone to read any of my stuff and highly doubt I'll even sell a copy but I took the step and made it anyway. Now I can at least no longer be stuck in the what if train as far as that goes. I know I made many mistakes on it, including one that is driving me nuts where you click on it to look inside and I didn't do the pages right so you really never get to even read one of the poems. Not exactly a good selling point but oh well, got to learn somehow and that really may bother me so much I'll have to start all over or just go to my happy place and pretend I don't know anything about it....maybe there's a way you can edit that I have no idea.
This past week or so has made me realize just how much and why I hate going to the doctor. Good news my eyes are doing a lot better, thank God. It may be premature but I'm totally going ahead and calling everything back to normal for me and I passed the test. Technically my follow up isn't for another week or two but really how likely is it that if they found something on the MRI that they would wait until then to tell me. I've decided to do a Dr. Donahue and diagnose myself and again say that issue is fine and I'm fairly certain I have pinpointed what is causing the other issues and that's simply because I'm on medicine that I no longer believe I need to be taking. I'll pay my copay and ask the professional but I've all but convinced myself that is the problem. I figure I should know me more than these other nurses and such that have only seen me a couple of times, not to take away their professional opinion because they can put the symptoms together better than I can but I do tend to know what is normal or not for me. I apparently am better at acting like I'm okay than I thought or some people really don't pay attention at all...or both. I'm not sure whether to be proud that I'm that good at acting like everything is okay or I should be worried that I could be that good. I had someone ask me today so you not feeling good? Which brought on the bit of being worried that I may be that good at not showing apparently anything because this person was around a couple of days ago when I had a very particular rough day so then I thought well shoot if I really was needing someone to notice that I was sick and needed to go to the ER or something I'd be up a creek. It's that invisible cloak, must be working again. Funny story I was at IHOP the other day, ended up going by myself and to the waitresses credit they were busy and I didn't get mad or nothing but she kept passing me by. Every time she'd go to bring me a drink, or when she brought the check she went right on by and at least on one occasion said 'oh there you are...' Oh that good ol' invisible cloak one just never knows when it will decide to work. Oh well I'm okay with having my invisible cloak back on and apparently being really good at acting like everything is okay because 99% of the time everything really is okay (makes acting a lot easier!). Either way long story most definitely not short I'm thankful that the main hurdle of this test has been crossed (as stated earlier I'm calling it because it just seems logical at this point).
Lastly, it is difficult to believe that 2014 is almost over and a new year and journey is about to start and/or continue. I can honestly say I have been blessed more than I deserve this year (well every year really). I was fortunate enough to do some traveling, able to feel like getting out and doing a lot of walking and over all truly appreciate and enjoy life this year. I saw friends and family members face tests this year and they taught me a lot in how one should never take things for granted and always appreciate every moment. I grew as a person and hope to never stop doing that as long as I got breath to take. I continue to find my way on this yellow brick road I call life and look forward to the side roads I get to take to finish up 2014 and the ones that I will find my way on in 2015. Whatever I may face and whatever roads I may get to challenge it is my hope that I never take it for granted and enjoy this ride, that is my wish for you as well. If you're 2014 wasn't what you wanted, may you get the opportunity to accomplish all and more of your goals and dreams in the new year.
Here's a link (that hopefully works because I am technologically challenged) for my book with my poems....
http://www.amazon.com/Collection-Poems-Quiet-Girl-ebook/dp/B00RH2VZEE/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1419711803&sr=1-1
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