There once was a title but it could never be found

My invisa-shield is malfunctioning again. I'm not sure how but the settings seem to be permanently sat on invisible mode when I need people to see me and easily seen/found when I want to not be seen by people so they will just walk on by. To be honest I'm not even sure where the switch is to fix the settings. Okay I really don't have an invisa-shield but if I did that's how it would work I am certain because that is how things currently go for me. It's my own fault partly I wait forever for an appropriate time to break in the conversation but it never happens so I awkwardly stand off to the side sometimes finally being spotted and sometimes just using my ninja skills and leaving for them to realize minutes later, if at all, that I'm gone. I recently had to make a couple phone calls for meetings at work. On at least one occasion I was told they couldn't hear me. My first thought, Like I haven't heard that before. Seriously there should be a club and the people could discuss what it was they thought I said or meant ( in case they heard me but it still made no sense). Then my mind working the way it does came up with the following (warning repeat if you read my many posts on FB):

I feel like I should have cards printed to hand out to people that state the following:

Yes I do know my age and relationship status. Yes I know I'm not getting any younger and I do hear my biological clock ticking but I treat it like any other clock and ignore it. You will not hear anything I say the first time (or quite possibly ever, just laugh and shake you head and we'll move on. It'll make me think I'm funny and people agree with me and you won't have to feel bad saying huh again.) and if I do not answer in five seconds it does not mean I don't have anything to say. On second thought this has been enough social interaction for the day. Have a good one

I'm very serious that I want to print these out. I'd never get the nerve to pass even one out but I rather like the idea. Lastly, because I just suddenly went blank here is a rather funny quote I found from The Andy Griffith Show.

Barney: He buttered her up and she egged him on.
Andy: That's funny! You just think of that?
Barney: I can't take any credit for it. My mind just works that way


And that's all she wrote...for now.