Speak Life

This post is based on two things with the main theme of me over analyzing/thinking...again.

Thing 1)   Last night as I was driving on a road that I drive a few times each week I noticed a house and on down the road a piece a barn that I hadn't remembered ever seeing before. Which got me thinking isn't it strange how you can travel the same road so often and yet still miss so much. However, this wasn't enough over thinking for my brain, no it took it one step further. Now isn't it strange how we can be around people day in and day out and yet still not really know them? We can miss little things about them and I don't even mean about that new outfit they got or hair cut and no one has noticed yet. I mean the things they say or do that if we took the time and stopped staring at the phone to see if we got one more like on Facebook or a text and really paid attention then we might find something new out about that person that we may think we already know so well. I thought I'd noticed every single house and barn there was to see on that road but that night I was proven wrong. Although I pay attention to that road when I drive it I still hadn't paid attention enough to notice every thing. I dare say the same thing goes for the people in my life.

Thing 2)    No secret I love music, may or not be a secret but I sometimes pay more attention than normal to the lyrics and sometimes how they may apply to my life at the present (or past...or future!). There are a couple of songs at present that are really hitting me but I'll focus on Speak Life by TobyMac (see video at end of blog if you've never heard the song or just want to hear it again).  The song talks about how we can use our words to build people up instead of tearing them down and making them feel bad about themselves. It kind of starts out how some days things just go wrong and you don't know why but by the end it gives examples of how if we just speak life, hope and love that the circumstance may not change but how we see it and can deal with it does (at least this is part of my take on the song but this song has so very many meanings to me that I can't begin to go in detail about them all) The whole song is a great message. In our personal life and when it comes to how we interact with others it just seems like it is so easy to doom, gloom and despair and believe that but what we really need to do is to speak life, hope and love. There is a quote at the end of the video that I absolutely love and sums it all up quite well: In every encounter we either give life or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange - Brennan Manning. It's to easy to think there is a neutral exchange, whether it's to save our own conscience so we can not have to think we have hurt others or we truly do believe we are helping (and of course the few that know they are hurting, draining that life and that unfortunately is there goal). I'm not perfect, not even the smallest fraction close to being so, and I have those not so perfect days where I find myself having to speak life and hope to my circumstances but I also have found that I've spoken the doom and gloom a bit to long before I remember to speak that life. I have no doubt that I have unfortunately said and done wrong to others to speak doom and gloom to them instead of helping build them up. It is my earnest goal and hope to always speak life, hope and love to myself and others more than anything else. Not only by the words I say but the actions that I do.

Time After Time

Time is a funny thing. I find it strange how time can feel like it's going by so fast yet at the same time can feel like it's dragging by, at least in certain areas. Makes me feel like I'm in the twilight zone in a way. When you're young you feel like you have all of the time in the world. I think as you get older a little bit of that slowly gets stripped away each year and you slowly begin to realize how precious time is and how you never seem to have enough of it. It's so easy for the 'If I had time...' to take over and soon you (I) find myself not getting anything accomplished. I think that may be sounding more depressing than I mean, it's technically not meant to be or sound depressing at all, honest. No matter what age you are I guess to a certain degree you can feel overwhelmed by not having enough time. The only thing that really changes is the priorities and the things written on your to do list that you never have time to do. One thing for certain about time....and that is that time goes on whether you are ready or not. I just helped you waste a little time and I can help you waste a little more if you want to read on but fair warning I'm bored and any and all that I write may or may not make much sense (should've put that warning at the beginning, huh?! I should actually include that for every post but by now it should probably be expected and known)

You know how a lot of people make new year's resolutions, I think there is also a spring edition of those resolutions. Why? Because where I'm from by this time of year a lot of people are saying they'll spend a lot more time outside if it would just get warm or when it gets warm they'll have more cookouts, hiking, etc. For some this isn't really resolutions they normally do these things and they are just ready to be doing them again. That's a long three months of winter, especially this year. With all of the snow, ice, plain old mess I haven't been able to do much which means not much driving which further means that my thoughts have now caused a major back up. I tend to get a lot of thoughts out and find  many ideas while driving, why that seems to happen I still haven't figured out but it does.

Have you ever read the summary on the back of a book and just knew that this was going to be a book you get more attached to fictional characters than is probably normal and if you make it through the book without crying or coming away with some kind of lesson you'll be very surprised? I was just given a book that I'm pretty sure all of the above things are going to happen. I started reading it last night and already really like it. I must say it's even more special because 1)someone thought of me and gave me a book 2) they thought I would like it because of the grandmother character in the book and how much I thought of my grandma. Twice this month I have been given something that had something to do about my grandma.

My last one, I promise, but does anyone else find it strange that as soon as you try to start eating better, exercising, someone will no doubt ask when/why/how long have/are you going to be on this diet. My response is I'm not on a diet. Why is it that you are automatically on a diet because you are actually watching what and how much you eat? I can't mentally think I am on a diet or I just set myself up for failure because my brain, not to mention stomach,  goes in to panic mode when it hears that word! Diets to me are short term and perhaps that's because anytime I have tried a diet it didn't last that long. I'm out to make a long term, life long change in how I view food and even exercise. Part of how I know I'm making strides in that is that I really can't wait to go walking anymore and I can actually say no to certain foods which probably doesn't sound like much but to me it is and that's who I'm doing all of this for so that's all that matters. I have no idea why I wrote this section, or any of them really, but I think I have wore out my welcome on this post and it is now time to close.

Typing away and writing nothing at all

Right place at the right time...every thing happens when it's supposed to (or for a reason)...these are just a few of those cliches that people say and for the most part I just leave it at it's just a cute (although sometimes annoying) saying. However, there are some instances where things happen where I have to admit that cliche or not there is quite a bit of truth in those sayings. Also apparently the way to get something to happen is to write a post on your blog saying nothing has really been going on and in some cases the very same day something different will happen to shake up the same boring routine that happens every day. It was something very simple and I don't know if it  was something that I needed around this time or just a coincidence, but then again I often wonder if things really are just ever a coincidence.  What was that something? I'm so glad you asked, it was simply a visit with a family member. Told you it was something simple but kind of way over due. I'm kind of a hermit and don't visit, call (actually text, I never call anyone), or email anyone...take that back on the email part there is at least one person I email a lot. Anyway, it was nice to have that over due visit and get to hear some stories about my family. I love hearing those stories, sometimes it feels like people don't want to talk about that but without the stories and memories how else are we going to keep the family members that are no longer here alive. They may not physically be around anymore but no need in putting everything about them away and hidden.

Random thought 1) I just thought of something today while fixing a cup of coffee and thought why not add it on here. I think to often I (and perhaps you do this too) get so busy being occupied by thoughts of what I don't have that I forget to notice all that I do have and be thankful for it and enjoy it. It's so easy to constantly think of what you need, more accurately want in many cases, and become blind at all the great things and people you have in your life. Just a thought, random, at that, that I figured I'd share.

Random thought 2) With it being so close to Valentine's Day, well I just can't go and not write something about it. Have you ever noticed that if you are single and say you hate V-day that you are automatically told you only hate it because you are single...no I'm pretty sure I'd hate it anyway, I really don't get the purpose of it, except to see who can spend the most on flowers, chocolate, cards and those ridiculously over sized teddy bears. I look at that and think, 'Wow, I could buy a lot of books with the money you spent on that!' Granted I wouldn't mind chocolate because, well it's chocolate and that's all you need to say about that. Of course no offense to those that go all out and do the sweet things for their significant other on V-day. I just don't get it but perhaps that's because I'm one that would rather have it spontaneously and something simple. Either way I don't hate the day because I'm single, I hate the day because like every thing else it is nothing but a commercially exploited day. On that note Happy Valentine's Day...or Happy Friday!

Just a rambling I will go

I always feel like it's been a lot longer since the last time I wrote something on here than it really has been. Even though it hasn't been that long since I wrote something and I really don't have anything to write about at present (like I do any time) I still find myself mindlessly typing away. So far in 2014 there hasn't been much happening to talk/write about...except the weather, that is getting talked about a lot. This winter has proven how spoiled we were the past few years, it sure has felt like one of the longest winters ever but enough about that. It's here and making its presence known and I'll be glad to say good riddance until later in the year. I am excited because in a couple of weeks I have the first of three events to look forward to. It's nice to have something to look forward to getting to do even if it's an extra day off work with absolutely no plans. Anyway, I'm ecstatic about getting to go see Rhythm of the Dance in a couple of weeks. I've always wanted to go see something like this but honestly had given up on it ever happening but luckily for me I have friends that know how much I love anything to do with Ireland and one of them saw a billboard for this and asked if I wanted to go to it with her. That took all of five seconds to say yes! However, the same friend had to do a bit more talking and convincing to get me to say I'd go with the youth group at my church to go snow tubing. Me plus snow is already a bad combination add in the tubing part...well let's just say this is going to be interesting but that has to wait until next month. I also got Winter Jam to look forward to next month...this means that I'll at least have two posts for next month with a little something to write about! Forgive the very random turn back to the subject of friends but I just have to say the good thing about getting older is realizing the importance it is to having true friends and people that care about you. I think I say this a lot but sometimes it takes me a long time to finally get it to stick in my brain and believe it, at least when it concerns anything to do with myself. With the weather being like it has been (it really is nearly impossible to write/talk without mentioning the weather no matter how much you try not to isn't it?!) I'll have people text me asking if I made it home okay or tell me to be careful as I'm leaving...these people also know what a terrible driver I am (insert the kind of laugh with a hint of ain't that the truth nod). As I, perhaps to often, say it is nice that people take a minute out of their time to see if you're okay. Might not seem like much but it really is. With that I think I have hit a dead end on my rambling so thanks for riding a long for this short ride. Hopefully next time I'll have a bit more interesting stuff to write about.

The Way I See It....

With the difficult time I'm having to type this and get it worded correctly I either really do need to or really shouldn't type it. I'm giving it another go and whether I post it or not I hope what I'm trying to say gets across in the words I'm attempting to type.

The mind is an amazing thing, no one can deny that, within its confines are our own memories, fears, dreams, favorite lines from movies and books and oh-so-very-much more. In our world today our minds get flooded with information so much so that many times I think we don't even realize what has been planted within our thoughts and the influence (intended or not) that sometimes grows from that little seed that was planted. Now I'm not saying hide yourself away and don't interact with anyone, watch any movies or listen to any music, etc. Even if you could manage to do that the mind is so amazing that you would still...shall I say be poisoned with false truths about yourself or others. My point, and I really do have one, if I can get it out isn't about the seriousness and true mental disorders that affect the mind but my focus and point is about the delusions we create (again intentionally or not) and how that can affect us. For example, you can't escape those magazines and the image of the people on the cover with the perfect outfits, with every hair in place, perfect skin texture and tone. You see those images and don't really think anything of it go on about your life but those images get planted in your mind and before long one can find themselves staring in the mirror seeing imperfections, your hair isn't the right color or style, you have a few extra pounds, or a pimple that just won't go away. I say imperfections not because I believe they are but to often we start comparing ourselves, sometimes without even realizing it, to this nonexistent perfect image of a person and then we begin to see imperfections where there is none. Our mind then gets us lost in this delusion that we are ugly, not smart, unloveable and so very many other lies. It's so easy to get in a mindset and believe these false truths because to often it makes more sense in our mind.

I guess before I go on I should say I just finished reading the book, Eyes Wide Open by Ted Dekker and if you read it than maybe you'll better get why I've got thinking this and what I'm trying to say. Short summary the book is focused on Christy and Austin who get locked up in a psych ward at St. Matthews hospital where the doctors are trying to prove that they are really Alice and Scott, respectively, all while they are trying to convince the doctors and eventually themselves that they are really Christy and Austin. Towards the end of the book they find these glasses and they put them on and suddenly they see the world and most importantly themselves as they really are. They meet someone who tells them that they are going to have to choose who and what they believe but what they are seeing with the glasses is the truth no matter what they are hearing in their mind or being told. With the glasses on everything makes sense and they understand and believe the truth but as soon as the glasses gets destroyed it becomes more difficult to remember and see the truth because they are being fed these thoughts and lies that if they think about them to much it makes more sense and seems more plausible than what they saw and heard with the glasses on.

Which got me thinking and wondering what kind of glasses I'm looking at myself and the world with and how many of us are looking through it with broken or no glasses. To often someone will joke with us and say you look fat in that outfit or what you believe in is a waste of time and can't be real. We may laugh it away and not think nothing of it for awhile but so often those thoughts can rush back and then make us question and if we don't keep those glasses on to see the truth or listen to the truth that is being whispered in our ears we can soon forget and get lost in those lies and see imperfections where there are none. Basically I guess I'm trying to say before you start believing every thing you think or hear about yourself check to see what glasses you are seeing yourself and the world around you because the mind is an amazing tool to use but sometimes it can be easily tricked and we can believe a lie.