Can't sleep so I write

I suppose writing on here for a little bit is better than staring at the cclock,  wall,  or ceiling all while wishing I could get some sleep.  I got a couple of  things I have been  thinking about while trying to will my subconscious back to sleep.

Life really is like a book but it doesn 't come with a table of contents so you don't know how many chapters your book will have or how long each chapter will be.  I don't know maybe we spend so much time worrying over if we'll get to spend as long as we want to in a certain chapter we end up wasting the chapter and only have spotty memories.  Maybe certain chapters last longer and are repeated way to often. I recently heard it said at a funeral that we are all preaching our own funerals right now.  Which I never really thought of it but there is quite a bit of truth to that.  Back to the book analogy.  I think we all want that book with so many pages it's a workout to move it from the shelf to the table and it has the beautifully illustrated cover with fancy font to tell the story.  We think this must be a grand story but sometimes those kind of books can be disappointing. Some of the best stories can come from the books with the worn cover so tattered and faded on the outside but when you open it up oh what a story there is.  The best part is when you think it's over but you turn the page and realize there is an epilogue.  I think all of our stories have an epilogue. So many think a good story has to be told in at least a certain amount of words but some of the most remembered and treasured books don 't always have a lot of chapters or words. No matter how many chapters my book has or how many words it has I want them all to make a difference but most importantly I want my epilogue to be the best chapter of it all.

Occasionally I'll have people say I should  publish a poem or something.  I just always think they are being nice and put it far away in my mind. I use loads of excuses but most recently I was sent some information and I'm leaning ever so slightly to what if.  I recently went through all of my old writings and did some editing.  Ironically enough as I was writing them in a journal to give to a friend I thought maybe , just maybe,  one day I could self publish a book albeit a very short one at this point.  Well if nothing else and I 'm sure it's  all it will be but it is something neat to ponder on.